Traditions of Our Fathers

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On the way to class, I stopped off to get a hamburger for a quick dinner. I ordered it the way I always have pretty much ever since I can remember- no mayo, heavy pickle. As I waited for my order to come up, I suddenly caught myself thinking about why I always order hamburgers this way. Then I realized that it was the way my dad ordered his, and when I was a boy, I wanted to be like my dad and follow his example.

Much of our cultural and character comes from the traditions of our fathers. We learn how to do things from watching our parents and measuring whether or not we like the outcomes of the choices they make when the time comes to decide upon our own course. Unfortunately, this means that some aberrant and abhorrent behaviors are also passed from parents to children, partially for lack of alternative examples of behavior and partly because some behavior is learned subconsciously.

Consequently, some of the traditions of our fathers we inherit are wicked. A friend of mine just returned from a trip to visit one of his brothers. He made some remarks about how his nephews have noticed that their father abides by a double standard. When he applies rules to them from which he holds himself exempt, they rebel, for they have noticed a double standard. Just wait until they realize that their father is still a womanizer with a wandering eye! That will set up a precedent that it is acceptable to gawk at, perhaps fondle, and otherwise have associations with women to whom they are not married, and the cycle of tears for women will repeat itself.

There are plenty of wicked traditions of our fathers. They also approach both ends of the scale. There are parents who kick their kids out after high school. There are parents who give their children things they didn't earn. There are parents who are spendthrifts while others are scrooges. Extremes in any degree set up the subsequent generation for struggle as it tries to correct back to center and then decides to which side it will preferentially lean.

Conversely, there are also positive traditions to learn from our fathers. We have food preferences, religious observances, patriotism, responsibility, etc., most of which are also learned subconsciously. The trick to establishment of traditions is not to teach by our words but to teach by our example. My friend's nephews rebelled against their father when his actions did not back up his rhetoric. If we set a proper example, people can rise to it. How else will they know?

I thank God for a good father who tried very hard, especially when I was young, to set a good example for us to emulate.