We make decisions every day. Each decision cements one possibility into reality and destroys other venues of opportunity. Around us, other people also make decisions, and sometimes those decisions affect the outcomes of our lives. Today is a day I decided to call Decision Day. It commemorates when, six years ago, a decision was made that changed my life. Unfortunately, it was a decision that was not up to me, but it precipitated other opportunities and led to other decisions with which I am pleased. I don't think anyone's life turns out exactly as they plan, hope, or expect, and it is possible for you to make all the right decisions and still lose. That is not failure; that is life. We are judged in the end not on what happens but on what we decide. Now, most of us like to be judged by our good intentions, but we are not affected by intentions. We are affected by actions, and so the decisions you make put actions in motion and ultimately will determine what you reap in the end.
Many decisions that affect our life are decisions made by others. You don't usually get to pick your parents, your race, your native land, your native tongue, and maybe at least from the getgo you don't get to choose your church, your clothing, or your recreational opportunities. Other people chose these for you, and other people will continue to make choices without your advice, consent, or knowledge throughout your life. Many of these people are politicians; some are more intimately known to you. Six years ago, a woman I cared for deeply decided against a life with me. The decision was never mine. The consequences were. At that crossroad, she decided not to join me. In that moment, despite assurances to the contrary, she killed one potential outcome for our story and replaced it with the one we have today- the one in which I am not even someone that she used to know. Of course, I'm disappointed, but her decisions are not up to me. What I do afterwards is.
When other people make decisions that affect us, all that lies in our power is to decide what to do about it. We can piss and moan like an impotent jerk, but ultimately most of us end up bending over and taking it up the tailpipe. You can get mad. You can get even. You can get up again. You can break down, or you can break through. Of course, setbacks are never fun, and it sucks when someone else closes a door you really wanted to walk through and that held a future that appealed to you. It's not that other potential futures don't appeal; you don't know what they offer, and you know you liked the one denied you. That night six years ago, my beloved beagle decided to dedicate himself to me, and eventually I decided to invest all of my love and concern into him. I don't regret this decision in any way. Of course, my dream life was not to hang out with a dog who eventually went deaf. I had other plans. However, I consider every bit of time, treasure, and attention spent on him to be completely worth it. He came with me on adventures. He comforted me when I had a bad day. He absolutely loved me absolutely. We had an exceptionally good life together over the past six years. He helped me find joy. Maybe it wasn't the joy I originally sought, but I know that we were happy, and I am so grateful that he was there and that we had our time together, because that was amazing.
Unexpected decisions affect our lives. I never planned to have a pet. Ever. I never planned to get close to a dog. Six years ago, he was more of a favorite accouterments to my life than an intimate playmate, confidant and friend. Now, however, I could not imagine my life without my beloved beagle boy of 16 years. I am not happy that this woman chose the way she did, but I'm glad that when she did that he was there and that I chose to love him. I decided today that I will probably get another dog. This is the first time in six years that I'm facing Decision Day without my dog. Sometimes I wonder if the woman was ever worthwhile. As for the dog, I realized that if I'm going to have love and companionship and good memories, it's much more likely with a dog than with another person. My beagle was totally devoted to me. I kept him downstairs because this woman was allergic to dogs, but after she left, he peered around the corner at the top of the stairs one night in 2015 (he was not allowed upstairs), and I invited him over. I have always been glad I made the decision to let him into my life. This decision day, I thank God for providing me with an alternative decision to make and for time and opportunity to choose my dog and then enjoy him for as many years as I did. Even though he died 14 weeks ago today, I still thank God every day for the decisions that brought that dog into my life and eventually brought him into my heart.
Seemingly unimportant decisions (SUDs) abound. We do many small things every minute that we believe to be small. We say pithy things. We don't go places we ought. We go places we know are bad. We engage in bad habits. We decide to befriend strangers. None of these things are as small as we think they are. Some of them transform our lives. At the end of the day, many SUDs become the basis for the future that we build. Each decision entrenches one future possibility and KILLS ALL OTHERS. We excuse many bad decisions as unimportant. "It's my body I'll do what I like. I'm not hurting anyone else". We downplay some good decisions as unimportant. The random letter we sent, the random neighbor we help, and the time spent hiking half a mile with a neice last weekend who thinks you're an awesome uncle. You honestly have no idea how things will play out. All you can do is be honest with yourself about what outcome you truly value and make decisions based on those values. I know that on Decision Day 2013, that woman decided that she valued something more than she valued me. I know that eventually I decided I valued my beagle more than any other person I knew. I know that some small things, some SUDs, cost me quite a bit and that others brought me more joy than I could ever imagine. Today is your Decision Day. What do you truly desire? What do you need to decide to make those things possible in your life? What other venues are there to have that? I'll probably get a dog, not because I prefer dogs to people, but because I know that a dog can bring me joy, and I know that putting my trust in a particular woman left me on a detour but that deciding to get a dog will get me there. He was the best decision I ever made as an adult.
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