Seen of Men

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When Donald Trump revised the tax rules and the standard deduction rose to $12,000 initially I was disappointed. However, it comes with a new personal benefit. I always feel a bit guilty taking credit on my taxes for my “charitable donations” and sometimes I find myself being “charitable” in order to inflate my itemized deductions. Now, however, it is high enough that I won’t itemize them and whatever good I do and money I give will be nobody’s business but my own. Far too many people in my opinion do good and eschew evil only for the public perception associated therewith, focused on the reward and not the recipient. Well, numbers are nice, and paperwork is helpful, but in the end, this isn't about credit or volume or perception. At choir Sunday, the choir director gave us all Gumby figures as a symbol, and I will keep it with the rest of my scrimshaw for its symbolic value rather than its monetary value. As long as people do things for approbation and praise, they tend to do the wrong things. They Take credit for things they find desirable to be attributed to them and avoid blame for things considered deleterious to their reputation. Their activities seem designed "to be seen of men". Well, they have their reward. As long as people do things rather than serve people, they tend to help in the wrong ways. As long as we fail to Behold the Man and hope to be beheld by men, our reward will never satisfy or achieve much.

Many “charitable people” operate under the misnomer that if nobody knows then it didn’t happen. Last night, I took a spray bottle filled with CYPER (insecticide) and a black light into my back yard to hunt scorpions. I figured that if I sprayed them directly when they were fully exposed at night, supposing that they could not be detected by predators, I could surgically kill them without having to spray the entire yard, which doesn't really excite me since I'm trying to be a responsible gardener and not kill all insects just so I can enjoy the garden. However, since scorpions periodically wander in through open windows and through the dog door gap and appear in the bathroom or near the kitchen sink, I decided to thin their numbers. As I rounded the back corner, spraying as I went, it suddenly struck me how arrogant it would be for them to assume that I cannot see them when they stand out brilliant neon green under the black light. My mind wandered from there to people who think that, if nobody sees them, or at least if they don't know anybody sees, then they can comfortably feel like they got away with it. Well, that’s very charitable towards themselves. I mean, if nobody knows, it’s easy to forget about it and pretend that you’re more virtuous than you would be if we knew about your shortcomings. It also sets them up for self-righteous investigations into the activities of others, drawing attention to the mote in another’s eye to distract attention from the beam in their own. I mean, remember how self-righteously they attacked Brett Kavanaugh for unsubstantiated allegations of sexual misconduct. We still don’t know what really happened, but I wonder what we would find if we investigated his sanctimonious accusers with the same abandon and scrutiny that they demanded we apply to him.

For these people, it’s only a crime if you get caught and it’s only a good deed if you proclaim it from the rooftops. Unless you proclaim your good deeds in the streets you don't have any. You see them go out incessantly and hold huge galas, fundraisers, and concerts in order to increase awareness. You see them very generously demand that more taxpayer money be diverted to programs they advocate. You see very little of their own fortunes, at least as a percentage, go to espouse the same kind of advocacy. You see them mock you because you only gave $40 and they gave $40,000. You are not as charitable because you don’t do as much. Since they have so many good deeds to declare, they care more than you do. You see this in personal purchases and campaigns. Many people who drive electric cars don’t actually care about the environment. They drive one so that they can say that they care more than you do because you drive a gas-powered car, nevermind that my Saturn gets 34-38mpg and they drive with a lead foot and barely get better fuel economy than I. These hypocrites have their own reward

The true problem of their attitude revolves around the reward they seek. For the most part, they care only what men see and to be seen of men. It is a good thing that we give and sometimes it is good that we know. If we give a kidney, it’s good to know from whom so that we can make sure it matches. If we give and people know that it was from a person and not from a government, then the person can be thanked rather than bureaucrats who did nothing besides sign the paperwork. Our world benefits greatly from the generosity of the wealthy whose names appear on roads, bridges, and buildings at universities. The philanthopy is that they don’t use those things but other people do benefit from them. It was a win-win. When politicians run for office, some of them proudly publish their tax returns so that people can see how much they donated to charity even though sometimes those donations are pieces of used underwear valued at $9 apiece. Like the rich men in the temple, these people proudly proclaim their donations when they make them. It begs the question when they don't brag whether they are generous with their money or with that of other people. All of this feeds ego. Wrote CS Lewis "It is the comparison that makes us proud, the pleasure of appearing to be the best", but that is not what I seek. For years, I have taken the deduction so that I can get some of my own money back, but I always felt awkward publishing it from the streets. I much prefer that people do not know, even in some cases the people who benefit. The homeless to whom I serve food do not know my name; they know my face; they know my fellows; that is enough, more than enough, and I accept it because it makes it easier to establish our mission and expectations among the needy when they know us by sight.

Being seen is a way to get credit, and those who want to take credit want to be seen. It has ever been thus, but the wealthy among us like to celebrate their philanthropy as a way to slake their conscience or prove themselves more beneficient. Well, they ought to give more because they have more to give. Christ himself gave more credit to the widow for her mite than the wealthy who cast in of their excess because of her penury she gave until it hurt and they hurt that they gave. Honestly, I'm less interested in the rewards available from the IRS than those potentially available from God. If you will forgive a personal anecdote, last April, I received an email from a close associate that contained the following excerpt:

"You look in the mirror and see the gruff staring back at you instead of the kind. You just need to let people see that and see it yourself, see your kindness and your good. In almost the 14 years Ive known you, I have seen alot. I have experienced your patience during my teen years and my deep desire to commit suicide. You never belittled the idea, you never judged me, and you listened. You didnt always know what to say but you knew to just let me talk and that was supportive to me. I have seen you give when you would get nothing out of it, such as when I was struggling fincially. I have heard you talk lovingly of your dog and see your joy and your anger ans your sadness. I have seen you accept my abortion and my religious beliefs even though they are SO against your own and that is more than most can say. I have seen your passions from hiking to gardening to traveling and truly, how many people can say that? I know you thought I was asking you for money, and I hope you know thats not the value of our friendship. Your support, understanding and absolute acceptance is. No matter what happens to me, what mood Im in or what I chose to do with my life you are always there."

The items mentioned in this email were never reported to the IRS, and until now, only this woman and a few of her boyfriends even knew I existed let alone what I did to help her. I don't report this here to brag or to get credit. I am not expecting any kind of remuneration. I am not expecting to win your approbation. I already have hers which reassures me that my kind and my good matter. This particular woman is a Buddhist, and they believe in karma, so if this is how she sees me, what do you think I can expect in return? My Faith is actively engaged in an effort to increase service this Christmas, and if you’re looking for ideas, motivation, and encouragement, please consider looking into the program. However, I am not interested in RSVPing as one who will join or sending tweets to Elder Gary Stevenson telling him what I did. In fact, I tweeted him instead saying that I prefer not to share so that “The Lord who seeth in secret shall reward [me] openly”.

The true reward is in the sacrifice. Consider the people who gave gifts to the Christ and the good gifts He espoused. The aforementioned widow woman was praised by Jesus for her "meager" offering because on a relative scale she gave more of a percentage of her wealth out of her want than they out of their penury could ever manage despite the voluminous donation of coinage. The wise men who brought gifts studied for years and came from the far east. It cost them a lot of time, effort, and money to come to Christ, and it is ever thus. This was a direct similitude of the sacrifice that a Savior would make for men, and it is why Christ asks us to serve, to obey, to live like Christians because our sacrifices help make others whole just as His heals us. It has been said that the truest measure of a man is how he treats those who can do nothing for him. It's not about who gives more. It's not about your good deeds outweighing your bad ones. It's not about any comparison to other people although the world stratifies us thus. It's about showing whom we love. When you truly love someone, you find a way to make things happen that benefit them. I remember as a child how my parents went out of their way to take us to see things we wanted and to be places we wanted not because they were interested in them but because we were. I tell my Sunday School students to pray about "trivial" things not because we're trivializing prayer but because it offers us an opportunity. God doesn't really care about lost keys, damaged cars, or school exams, but He does care about you. He involves Himself in those things not because they matter to Him but because they matter to you and because you matter to Him. As for the optics of the world, to be seen of men, you see people serve those who already like them. They donate to charities operated by their friends and allies. They give only to those of whose politics, whose religious beliefs, and whose vocational pursuits they approve. They are a self-licking ice cream cone in many instances propping up themselves. Well, Christ himself once asked, "If you love them that love you, what do ye more than others?"

Whom then would He have us serve and how? I sometimes of late lament openly to God that my beneficence serves people who, once they recover, will actively work to my destruction or diminution. That's exactly how it works. Remember that, when they came armed to take Jesus before the tribunal and Peter severed the ear of one of the mob that Jesus restored the wound to the man hurt even though that man came intending to destroy the Christ. Remember that, knowing Judas would betray Him, Jesus called Judas anyway and suffered in Gethsemane even for Judas if Judas would repent. The atonement of Christ isn't just for those who like Jesus, for those who are nice to Him and you. It's for the sinners. He met with, talked to, accepted gifts from publicans, sinners, and prostitutes WHO CAME UNTO HIM. You don't really believe in and stand for something until and unless you advocate for it when it benefits people who do not know and do not like. If you only serve people who serve you, if you only give gifts to people who give gifts to you, if you only reach out to people who agree with you, well, that's pretty selfish and self-centered. It's good for them, but the Lord sees your heart, and even if you can obscure your motives from men, you will be seen of the Man in your heart who will reward you according to your true desires and for whom you truly love. Perhaps the biggest problem with this type of advocacy is that the recipients are dehumanized. We start counting how many eyeglasses are donated, how many refrigerators, how many turkeys, how many people benefit rather than recognizing that they are individuals. In Dicken's Christmas Carole, Scrooge goes to people specifically, individually, and calls them by name as he forgives them debts, heaps gifts upon them, and spends time with them. Rather than noting that we gave $5000 away, maybe it would behoove us to count that we helped the Johnson's, the Smith's, the Jones', and the Lincoln's have a better and easier time this Christmas. After all, the gifts matter, not because Jesus needs our help giving gifts, but because those people matter. Broken appliances, toy wish lists, and meals for the hungry are not specifically meaningful, but they are meaningful to Christ because the people who receive them mean something to Him, and when we serve His children that means something to Him too.

In one large way, I’m very happy about this change. It means that I get the benefit of the deduction without anyone knowing. I can still get about the same deduction as when I itemized, but I can give without telling the government. Who will know? Well, the people I help will know and God will know, and most importantly I will know, and that will be enough for me. If you truly desire to make a change for the better in a person's life, you must get to know what will make that person's life better. Even if we are all living quiet lives of desperation, for many people, the gesture really does matter more than the thing. Many people are just happy to get a visit, a note, a phone call, or a plate of cookies even if it doesn't enrich them, nourish them, or satisfy their material needs. In the end, what most people truly desire is to feel like someone cares, and charitable giving is always pushed as a way to show we care. So let's care. Let's care less about who gets credit or if anyone gets credit. Let's care less about how the people receiving it will use it and give anyway. Let's care less about ourselves and start caring about people, about the Stevens, the Alfredos, the Jessicas, and the Sarahs in our lives who have hard times, not necessarily because they are financially not as well off as they'd like but because they are not seen by men as being worthy of being seen by men. How often do you let the beggar put up his petition in vain? How often do you ignore the sick, the old, the tired, the immature, and the feeble of mind/body/money because it keeps you from what YOU want? Christmas isn't about us. It was never supposed to be. The gifts are not for us. They are not even for them. The gifts evince that we love Christ because we keep the one commandment that reflects our attitude towards them. "As I have loved you, love one another". See them as men. Behold the Man. As you act on accordance with this commandment to love your neighbor as yourself, you will be seen as a man, as a servant of the Man, and as worthy of all that the Man hath. What really matters is what He sees in you.