One of my periodic readers sent me a note thanking me this week for my philosophical comments. I know that this person and I don't really look at things the same way, and so I consider it great praise to be thanked for things with which this person may not actually agree. Like my first book, the real purpose of this blog is to get people to think, and if I do that, then it has accomplished its purpose. I kind of laughed when I received it, because a PhD is a "Doctor of Philosophy". My best friend frequently opines that philosophy isn't a vocation like it used to be, but if it were he would do it. Yet, that's what most of these lettered people really are- philosophers.
I don't get paid to philosophize. In prior semesters, students have asked me why I don't teach philosophy or religion or history or English. You see, according to my transcript I know nothing about any of those things because I didn't take classes on them. Actually according to my transcripts, I am illiterate, because I didn't take any English or any other language for that matter. I kind of wonder sometimes how all of these people with a PhD managed to receive one when they don't seem to know much about their own discipline, let alone any others.
I learned philosophy and these other subjects on my own. Sir Walter Scott has been attributed with this assertion that "Every man who ever amounted to anything had the chief hand in his own education". My library is full of books I read long after I stopped attending college classes. I learn about things now because I desire to know, and I share the things I do because I feel that knowing them might help you make better decisions.
Philosophy deals with decisions and values. Like my friend, your values may differ from mine, and so your decisions must differ of necessity as well. I offer you the only thing I can- the gift of myself, the gift of MY attention to details and history and religion and science, because that's all I have to offer. I can only offer really the things that I really am. I see this as an opportunity to help you by sharing what I do so that you may learn from me and from my mistakes. If you don't like what you see, then consider this a blessing to learn to be wiser than I.
I don't have all the answers. I don't even know if I have all the questions or asked the best ones. When I receive answers, I am not sure I understood or interpreted them correctly. Most of my doubts are only due to hindsight. In the moment, they made sense. Perhaps that's why I am merciful and patient with people who might not deserve it. Not everyone had the parents or the educational opportunities or the living surroundings I had. Even if they had, they might still see things differently from the way I see them. Philosophy is a point of view, and since I don't have them all, I cannot possibly describe anything perfectly or do anything expertly.
That does not stop me from doing all that I am able. Philosophy is also a science, because it invites the philosopher to ply his trade and prove his words. It's more difficult because it does not produce things that are easily measured. Sometimes the evidence countermands the truth because the soft sciences are harder to control. They involve people after all, and people are imperfect. I am a philosopher most of the time. Even in class, I share what I believe. While I don't plaster stickers on my car, anyone who reads what I write or talks with me in my office knows that I am not your average biochemistry graduate.
Philosophy isn't really a vocation. Even the PhD candidates by which I am surrounded are paid to pass on a consensus rather than help people find their own answers. We teach people to answer questions rather than to solve problems. The only way in which philosophy has paid for me is in self-discovery. Most of what I claim and live is true, and when I find weaknesses in my armor or my resolve or in my conclusions, I fix those things as much as I am able. I know that there are people I have hurt owing to my human frailties, and that pains me more than words can describe. If I have hurt you, please know that I would do anything I could to heal you and that knowing I have caused you pain is one of the worst things I experience. Let me know, and in what ways I can, I will repair it.
My philosophy is the philosophy of the Atonement. I believe in making bad men good and good men better through Christ. Repentance has many R's, and I know some of them remain as yet unfulfilled in the lives of some people. Recognize, Remorse, Recount, Recant, Restitution, Resolve, Rinse, and Repeat. I am resolved to be a better man, but until I do what I can to make it right, it feels as yet unfinished to me. I would repair it if I am able. Where I cannot, I leave it to my Savior and hope for mercy.
1 comment:
This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I would miss these posts if you ever stopped writing.
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