After a student went on Wikipedia Monday night using their iPad to look up something I asked in class, I gave them an impromptu lecture. While I appreciate the fact that they know where to look for answers, wikipedia is a source of dubious credibility, and smartphones and that industry quickly threaten us with a generation that doesn't know how to actually talk to other people. Last night, I saw a young lady furiously texting in line in front of me but never heard her say a word, and a friend of mine reports he was dumped by a girl a month or so back via text message. Communication is everything.
However, the older I get, the more I realize that most people are hardly fluent even in their own native tongue. They make up words like "groovy" or "boss" or "sick" to define something they consider agreeable when there are plenty of words already extant with which to communicate a high degree of favorability. The thing that is most threatened in our world is not some desert tortoise, exotic bug or bird of prey; it is the tongue in our head that we quickly forget to use and use well.
People use words. Most people in positions of power use words that convey a different meaning to you than to them. They purposely pick particular phrases to create an impression in you because they know how you understand them. Then a few of them betray their condescension for you by speaking to you as if you were in junior high school still. You see, most people who consider themselves smarter and better than you don't use complicated verbage. They use simple words because they consider you simple minded.
I know I do this too. Sometimes I use small words so that I'm sure people understand. Also, despite the fact that my beagle is nine and probably doesn't speak English, I talk to him sometimes like he's a baby. I don't know why people do this. What I do know is that everyone likes to be talked to as if they were an equal. Even children, I suspect, prefer to be addressed with the same tone and respect with which you converse with other adults. I have noticed that they respond better when I talk to them on the level and like they are on mine.
Most true conversation seems to be impromptu. Every speech I hear seems either orchestrated to go over my head or as if they think I can't handle more complex vocabulary. Sometimes I plan out and practice what I will say or think about things I would like to include, but if I adhere to it too tightly, it feels more like a recitation, and I feel resistance from the other participants. People don't like to respond when they respond to something calculated.
People are not numbers, they are people. If we speak to them as objects, we cheapen them and they will object. If we treat them as a dream, we make them unreal, and they will feel like we cheapen ourselves. When we treat them as agents with the proper respect and dignity we hope to have in return, we allow both parties to be true to themselves and whatever agenda they have. Treating people as objects or dreams invites us to earn and deserve ultimate failure. Only in the latter case will any exchange of words lead to true communication.
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