Middle management and leadership are tricky situations and vague descriptions. Just because you have a position of authority does not mean you have any actual authority. You can ask the Dean where I work or the bishop of my ward, and they will tell you that they get vetoed all the time. Yet, middle management is often blamed for failure of an organization to meet a goal set by the highest echelons. The reason for this is that all too often people are given responsibility to execute a goal and achieve an outcome without the authority to actually see it done or without actually assuming the authority necessary to succeed. Whether at church, at work or in relationships, someone has to be a leader and allowed to act as such.
In 2016, my parents convened our first family reunion. During that reunion, my niece attempted to assert her will over me when my brother and his wife were elsewhere in the house by physically assaulting me. To stop her violence, I grabbed her arms and held her tight so that she could not strike or scratch me. When my sister in law saw this, she immediately went to the defense of her child and chastised me for disciplining her daughter without her express prior written consent. I told her that if she could not make me responsible for her children without giving me authority to countermand their bad decisions and refused to watch the young girl for the rest of the week. My parents agreed that her expectations were illegitimate.
In 2021, I was put into the bishopric of my congregation at church. Earlier this year, I was sitting in a meeting where upper muckety mucks from a higher echelon of church leadership were “teaching” the youth of my ward. When the male presenter decided to openly bully and belittle three of the youth in front of their peers, parents and other youth leaders, I was the only one who protested, despite the fact that the bishop and stake president were also in attendance. After that meeting, the stake president decided to chastise ME for “making a scene”. I told him, “You cannot expect me to prepare these kids to grow up, get married, serve missions and lead the church while simultaneously allowing other leaders to bully them in front of their peers. Either give me authority to defend them or replace me in the bishopric with someone you will sustain.” I expect to be replaced any day now. The man who bullied the youth was never chastised to my knowledge for bullying teenagers in public, but I’m the villain.
When I was married, my wife would put things on my credit card without my express prior written consent. Since they were my credit cards, I was obligated to pay the bills, but I had no authority to tell her not to spend money. We had joint accounts, so she could just go out to the bank and pull money out of the atm had I removed her from the cards. Our relationship became unsustainable because I was held accountable by my wife, her family, the government and even my Faith, to pay for her upkeep and largess, but I had no authority to put a stop to her fiscal irresponsibility. She spent money faster than I could earn it and complained that I needed to earn more.
The problem with this situation is that it’s a form of slavery at worst and indentured servitude at best. One person is required to deliver, and they have zero veto authority to override misbehavior by other parties. In any interpersonal relationship, someone must be the leader. If too many people compete to be the leader, it can be tough to come to a resolution or achieve any goal. And if the person made the leader is merely a figurehead, the organization will either fail or the “leader” in name only will have nothing to do with the outcome achieved. If you are given responsibility without authority you are not actually a leader. You are a servant. Leaders by definition make decisions. Servants, or slaves if you will, must execute the directives of others. So, if you are commanded to make bricks without straw, even if you oversee a group tromping in the mud, you are not a leader. You are still a subject.
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