Review "No Tomorrow"

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Despite being under the weather, I stayed up a little last night to watch the pilot episode of the CW's new series "No Tomorrow" and came away not only disappointed but irate. The show essentially boils down to stereotypes, typecasting, and a predictable chain of decisions interrupted by brief periods of insight. However illuminating those flashes might be, they are quickly covered by shallow acting, shallow characters, and a shallow plot which could have been told in a 90 minute movie instead of creating a series, especially since we only have eight months left on earth. I found the characters shallow and stereotypical, evidence of why young people this day look in all the wrong places for love; these are their exemplars to follow, a bunch of teenagers trapped in adult bodies who mistake chemicals for chemistry, play to their own lusts, and fall for old tricks. What seemed an interesting premise, a promising plot, and a new take on an ancient apocalytic theme devolved into a retread of a story as old as time and twice as dusty. Rather than compel us to think, this show parades before our eyes well weathered stereotypes of young people and their idiocy, fallacy, and indeterminancy. I looked forward to watching something new, but "No Tomorrow" really has no tomorrow if its actual "plot" comes to pass, because eventually the eight months will pass, and we'll either see the show terminate or find that it's nothing more than a sappy "love" story more about codependence and lust than anything substantive.

The female protagonist shows that women will go to any length if they like a guy. When an order shows up on her porch, somehow she knows it's for him and carries it some significant distance to his house (does she not have a car? How pathetic is this chick? Oh well, she's hot...). He offers her a beer, which tastes awful, then goes into his house when she invites him despite being warned by her sister before leaving about warning signs. At least this plotline rings true- that if she really likes him, she will swallow camels in order to get together and go out of her way to spend time with him. When he forces her to karaoke, she steps right up. When he leaves stuff at her place, she uses it despite blowing him off (how does he know where SHE lives?). Despite refusing to see him after her accident, despite his stalking behavior, she stalls for time when her boyfriend proposes and then looks for ways to spend time with this limey dude. You see, he's so tall and handsome as hell, he's so bad, and he does it so well, and so she will do whatever it takes to continue to hang out, even after she is injured due to him. If a girl really likes a guy, it won't matter if he's a dork, has a beard, drives a 21-year old car, or whatever; she'll do what it takes to make things work.

Unfortunately, the female protagonist shows that women will change guys in order to keep things fresh. When the show starts, you don't even know she has a boyfriend. Honestly, I don't know why she was even dating this guy, who is mocked by her family and seems embarrassed to speak up anywhere, and so it's pretty unbelievable that this pathetic character would have ever won her attention. Since he's so boring and uninteresting, she misinterprets that as not being ready to marry and follows after this new guy, despite the quite literal warning klaxons that blare when she visits the dude's house. There are so many red flags, any woman worth having would run away. They sure run from me, but I digress. Instead, she goes out of her way to pick the exciting and exotic albeit vapid foreigner over the safe and reliable boyfriend. To his credit, her now ex tells her that he won't be her backup plan. When it fails, and it will, he won't be there to pick up the pieces. It will fail. It might take 30 years, but eventually the reality sets in and the routine and responsibility of adulthood puts an end to their carefree existence, and she'll look for someone else to keep things exciting. I think this in large part accounts for infidelity in marriage. People get together because they like having fun together, but when the work comes, they realize they didn't really like each other after all and should have been more judicious.

The female falls for the guy because of hormones and not character. She falls for him during an adrenaline rush that makes her think she's into him. Young people advise me all the time to take women out on dates to do dangerous things so that girls will like me, but I'm adult enough to know that she'll be enticed by the hormone rush and require that in order to keep our connection intact. Unless I keep it fresh and real and constantly one-up myself, she'll grow tired. It is said that nice guys don't finish last; "boring" guys do. well, I'm not boring, but I do have a JOB. She ends up fornicating with him the first day they hang out together. It's only AFTER that that we learn she has a boyfriend, or ex, or whatever, who doesn't know and proposes in a way that ends in failure. He insults her when he visits, and somehow for some reason she finds that endearing.

The male protagonist is a chauvinist. His Apocalyst is rife with references to all the women with whom he wants to fornicate. It's all about him. He quit his job, does whatever he likes, purports to take the list seriously but discounts her suggestions of what things he should do next because they're not fun or comfortable even. It's obviously about slaking his lusts and going out with a bang. He wracks up debt because he won't have to pay. Trouble is, that he MUST be correct, or there will be recompense. When he tells his costar why he likes her, he refers to "her bum" twice. TWICE! He's a shallow man with no job and no future; he's compelling because he's hot and foreign. If you switched his character with the person playing the woman's original boyfriend, he wouldn't be compelling or believable. He isn't even good company. He's sort of a boar, a bore and a boor. He goes on and on about himself, tries to push her around, actually hacks her account and almost gets her fired, injures her with a pogo stick, and she likes him more. Is she retarded? He's a bad boy with a devil may care attitude, and this stupid chick falls for him hook line and sinker. She knows he's trouble; she doesn't care. Oh, and the episode ends with his brother, freshly escaped from prison, on their front door. Red flag much?

Both protagonists are teenagers stuck in bodies twice their mental, psychological, and emotional age. It's all about fun, frolic, frivolity, and fornication. They don't want partners; they want to be entertained. They aren't looking to work together or plan ahead, but of course since they believe in the apocalypse, they don't need to plan ahead. What's worse is that too many young people actually are like this and don't have long-term thinking because they believe zombies or global warming or whatever other madness they imagine will wipe us from the planet, so we best live it up while we can. Neither one of them seems to have an education, but they seem to know everything about everything, with that sense of self-importance that enraptures young people in puberty. Neither one of them seems to have any assets; the woman seems to have no car, and the guy has a house full of things for which he never intends to pay. Neither one of them is someone you would keep; you play with them and then move on to someone else, that is if that's part of YOUR moral code. For my part, I wouldn't pay attention to either of these idiotic fops; as pretty as she may be, she's not the kind of partner I seek, even if I knew with certainty that the world does end next June.

Ultimately I was disappointed, disgusted, and disjointed. I've been in a foul mood all day because of the stereotypes these people represent of what's wrong with young people, with relationships, and with the world in general. The good guy gets shafted; the foolish but sexy guy gets rewarded. The girl is vapid, fleeting, and unreliable. The characters are unbelievable; I don't know people like most of them. The plot is...well, I'm not sure what the plot is. They really covered everything in the pilot episode, and I'm not really on the edge of my seat awaiting with baited breathe their next episode. It reminded me of what I see in the real world, that dingbats date deadbeats, that lust supplants love, that entertainment trumps engaging company, and that youth, health, love and beauty are wasted on the young, those most likely to abuse it and least likely to appreciate or use it well. If it were up to me, "No Tomorrow" would have no tomorrow, and it won't, at least not for me. Nice try, CW, but I guess I shouldn't really be surprised. It's just another formulaic attempt to catch the attention of a specific demographic in order to sell advertising, direct behavior, and boost your ego and bottom line. You wrote a series with characters for whom it's all about them because it's all about you and you don't know how to do anything else.