I never wanted to live in a Home Owner's Association (HOA), and I never will again. The only reason I live in one now is because after nine months of searching, I was too lazy and too committed at the title company to do what I ought to have done. I ought to have refused to buy this house because it was in a HOA, but I wanted a house, and I liked this one, but I do not like how the HOA treats me. Since my early days, I have been constantly harassed by the HOA in a roundabout manner, and it feels more personal than it should. Whenever I see mail from the HOA, my mood grows dour, and I wonder what new travesty arose since the last communique. Last Friday night, the sum of all fears were realized when I received two summons the day after my birthday to appear for a hearing (which is essentially a trial without a jury of my peers) to decide what is to be done with me. I feel under oppression, where a few so-called intellectual elite can pass judgment on me by happy circumstance of their being "elected" simply because nobody else bothered to run. The details of the rules are deleted, omitted or missing, and I have to wait until I find out I broke the law in order to fix it. Thereby I am always guilty until proven innocent, if I can prove that in the first place. I just want to be left alone.
The decisions are subjective. The day before Christmas last year, I received the complaints in the mail. Merry Christmas! As soon as I returned, I rectified the situation. On February 23rd, the HOA president rode around with the inspector and they colluded that I was still in violation. Ok, my plants were dormant, and I'm trimming them neatly. That may not fit their opinion of neatly, but why is their opinion more valid than mine? None of these people have ever talked to me. Instead, they handle it passive aggressively and file complaints which arrive in the mail and sour my evenings when I visit the mailbox. I handle the complaints, and then they decide it doesn't meet their muster. They complain about things without verifying the facts or without considering that I have a different plan than they do. On the word of two people, I am not in compliance. Well, I haven't complained about anyone yet, but I just looked up the addresses of record of the board members, and you bet your bottom dollar I will watch their properties like a hawk and report every minor infraction that "doesn't meet my definition of good maintenance".
The descriptions are vague. The "standards" call for "Maintenance of Lots -- All owners must keep there (sic) lawns, shrubs, and trees trimmed, pruned, and well maintained." That's all it says. Besides the illiterate typo, they are well maintained, but compared to what? Compared to some arbitrary standard from the HOA president and some "independent" third party? Let's not pretend that other people aren't taking good care and that I'm the only one with "problems". Let's not pretend that my house is dragging down home values, particularly since home values in my neighborhood are rising. How do I comply with something that vague without causing a problem?
The members are bullies. Complaints arose many months ago blaming me for scorpions in a neighbor's house, attributing their presence to "overgrowth" in my front yard. First of all, "who is this that darkeneth counsels by words without knowledge?" Do they have any proof or are they just alleging that? The renters were friends with the HOA president, who is not apparently concerned at all with the weed growth along that person's yard but is concerned about my yard. Of course, the HOA took them for their word, filed a complaint, and ordered me to comply. Meanwhile, I know from talking to the renters that they paid someone to spray. If they are spraying, then they are paying that company too much. Secondly, they didn't see any scorpions on MY property, and if they did, why were they trespassing on my property without my permission? Power is almost always bad. It attracts the villainous and corrupts the virtuous. Who will guarantee that I wouldn't, if elected to the board, reciprocate and abuse the power to beat them into submission?
They are not qualified to make these judgments. I don't know what their credentials are to lead or to criticize my work. I did almost all of the work myself, including the seasonal maintenance. I beautified this small spit of land far beyond that achieved by any of my neighbors. I have permission in the first place to landscape my house according to its present state. They gave me permission to plant what I have. They are not arborists or master gardeners or plant physiologists, and while I am not either, I do have an advanced degree in Biochemistry that I earned working for a Plant Physiologist. Everyone knows that plants go dormant in the northern hemisphere during winter, which doesn't mean they are dead. Do I really have to write them every year and remind these uneducated twits that this is normal in winter for plants to "look dead"? How asinine!
They say that I have options, but I only really have two. Firstly, I can run for office and then change the rules. This is risky for them because what stops me from reversing their subjectivity and treating them just as meanly as they treated me? Secondly, I can sell the house. This is not what I desire to do, because I like the house, the location, and the yard, but it may be the only way to be left alone. I am not breaking any law. I am not meeting someone's personal preference, which is not what the CCRs dictate. I probably won't agree with them. There are things I am willing to do, but I am growing my landscaping for me and not for them, and I am not going to do things that cost me money to save them. This is supposed to be about community, but a common interest community is anything but. It's no wonder we don't know our neighbors; they are out there spying on us! If I do stay, I guess I'll run to be on the board and dicker with this bureaucratic morass, because if I don't set the rules, I guess I will be oppressed by them or at least by morons who write them and use them to elevate themselves. At least I would be impartial and objective, a notion these nincompoops apparently find foreign.
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