18 November 2014

Oaths from Scoundrels

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People constantly make promises, and sometimes they do so under oath. The problem arises because we discover that so many people do not keep their word. For a long time, I pondered why this was so, and I realized that the root lies in the person to whom people believe they make oaths. I mean them and keep them because I believe in a Supreme Being. Many people who break their oaths do not believe in anything at all. That's the difference, and now I understand why an oath from a scoundrel is meaningless.

Sir Thomas More proclaimed in a letter to his daughter Margaret Roper, "What is an oath but words we say to God?" This of course presumes that those entering in to the oath believe in God. If you do, you believe that God holds you to the oath because He is part of it. If you violate it, even if the other person chooses to forgive and release you from obligation, God may still hold you accountable. Believing that a higher power holds you accountable helps keep people honest. Even I sometimes come short, but when I do, I attempt to make it right and make it work because I believe that God will hold me to accounting even if you don't.

Many people think nothing of breaking their oaths because they believe they set the rules. If you do not believe in something greater than yourself, then what will hold you accountable for the consequences of changing the rules? You can change the rules at any time to serve your own selfish ends no matter what collateral damage you leave behind. If you have the power and other people can't touch you, who will punish you or force you to keep your word? This kind of person only makes rules so that they can break them. They don't believe in rules, but they know you do.

Unfortunately, all too often in the most important relationships in life, we receive oaths from scoundrels. There's the usual: flowers, chocolates, and promises you don't intend to keep. Politicians are adept at this. They will make a promise, but because they believe themselves to be masterminds, gods among men, they think they can change the rules at any time whenever it's expedient to their personal agenda. It becomes very frustrating for the lay person, because most people actually intend to keep their promises. Most politicians do not.

People make decisions based on information and expectations. When someone makes a promise, we make decisions about whether to play, how to play, and what stakes we will accept. When someone changes their mind, it renders some of the things we expect impossible, and yet the other party still requires us to keep our part of the bargain. Changing the rules changes the game into a different game. Change the rules, and nobody will want to play.  That's why people lie.

I trust people sometimes far more than I should. The fact is that I cannot blame them for the mistakes made by others, and so I give them the benefit of the doubt until they prove untrustworthy. In the case of powerful people or people who hold power over our lives, this becomes a huge risk, because they can sometimes break us with information or insights or powers we give them over our lives in order to establish intimate relationships of trust. Fortunately for me, none of those from whom I received representations chose to do that, but then again I don't hobnob with politicians. I trust most of them about as far as I can throw the universe. When someone proves to be a scoundrel, their oaths mean nothing.

We make oaths to men and to God. Even when men prove unwilling or unable to make good on their representations, God will. God will give me justice. Please don't make promises you don't intend to keep. God heard them too.

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