Somewhere, there are crates sitting around full of Beanie Babies, Tickle Me Elmo dolls, and other items people loaded up on thinking they would be great investment opportunities. I remember when the newspaper was loaded up with ads offering Tickle Me Elmo for $500, reminiscent of Jingle All the Way where Arnold Schwarzenegger fights mall crowds for a fad toy for his son. I wouldn't be surprised if somewhere out there someone is trying to corner the market on Hostess products thinking they can sell them on the internet and turn a profit. I know, because I mention it often, that they do this with gold.
In the end, an investment is only worth money if you can convince someone to pay you for it. I don't tend to buy a lot of stuff other people can easily liquidate, partially to discourage theft but partially because I value different things. I was reminded the other night while reminiscing that, after "investing" $10,000 into precious gemstones as a "business venture" my ex-wife came in to tell me she made her first sale, but that she had to give them a deal to make the sale, meaning that it cost us an additional $1.50 to make her first sale. She told me you have to spend money to make money. I asked what the $10,000 was for. This difference of values continues to plague me, as I cannot liquidate things I own because nobody would buy them or at least not put the same value into them that I attach to them. Most of my scrimshaw has a symbolic point. Not many folks buy scruples, but then not many folks seem to have them either.
My guiding light has been an item's utility. If I cannot get rid of them for the money, are they valuable some other way? I don't know what I'd do with hundreds of plush children's toys or with 50 cubic feet of gold ore. I suppose I could take a nap in the toys or use the gold as a door stop or a paperweight, but to me both of those are worth about as much as a dead ipod or a blown tire. In other words, I have no use for them, so I don't buy them.
Perhaps it comes back to my attitude on salesmen and purchases. I was offered a lucrative job out of graduate school selling drugs for a pharmaceutical company. However, I realized that I would not enjoy that because I cannot sell something I would not buy and because I cannot sell people something they don't need. That's why eBAY works for me, because the bidder has already decided he has need. You cannot pay me enough to do that job, because I can't motivate myself to buy it. I can sell chemistry because I believe in the principles, but I can't sell chemicals because, as my students can tell you, I don't really trust in them.
So I see twinkies on eBAY already. Ironically, there is a Hostess bakery just across the railroad tracks from the campus. Too bad they don't sell directly to the public. Meanwhile, I refer you to this quote from Brigham Young that is hanging on my fridge at home: "The time will come that gold will hold no comparison in value to a bushel of wheat." I believe that. Time to buy more wheat...
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