Tuesday night after class, a struggling student stopped me to talk. She asked me, knowing a little bit about my personal Goliaths and Sinais, how I manage to find meaning and keep going. My answer surprised me and helped her, so I decided to share it. I had an older yardstick for living, which was kind of pedestrian, but when I answered, I suggested the following paradigm. First off, don’t try to “have a good life” all at once. Take every day as a single day and try to make each one a good day. You may not build toward anything grandiose, but if you try to live each day the best that you know how, how can God be displeased with that? Then, I suggested four instruments to make each day a good day: do something that you enjoy, do something that’s good for you, do something that’s good for others, and ask God what He would have you do that day.
Do something every day that you enjoy. Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy. We have enough work to do, trials to face, and responsibilities to handle, that it’s always nice to have something to look forward to that we enjoy. For many years, I have told students that I disagree with advice to “do what you love for pay” because, after 30 years of having to do it, people stop loving the thing they have to do for pay. Instead, I suggest they do something they like that pays well enough and then reserve some joyful things for their free time. That way, when you don’t HAVE to work, you can go do something you enjoy for no other reason than that it brings you joy. You can garden or sing in a chorale or read that book you bought four months ago and never got to or get a pedicure. You can treat yourself to a milkshake or go through old photo albums or binge watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy (just not EVERY day). Do something that actually brings you joy. The devil tries to counterfeit joy and rob you of the pleasure of living, but it is actually part of our purpose to have true pleasures. Play with a baby and listen to him laugh. Feel the wind on your arm as you drive a mountain road. Conquer that mountain you wanted to climb. Visit a friend you trust and who supports you. True pleasure comes from wholesome things.
Do something every day that’s good for you. This can vary widely, and it’s a simple way to enhance your life. Study a language. Take a class. Exercise. Eat more protein and less candy. Drink more water. Pray. Meditate. Play with your dog. There is absolutely nothing wrong or selfish or evil about doing something that’s good for you each day. First off, you are responsible for the care and nurture of the body in which God housed your soul. If you neglect to take care of it well, you will reap darkness and unhappiness. Maybe you can’t run a marathon or knit a sweater, but you can be more fit and find a constructive hobby. The journey toward better health is a series of small steps, as many as you like. Secondly, you cannot share any of your oil and meal if you don’t have any. It is important to take care of your own needs so that, when others appeal to you, you’re in a position so that, if you share goodness with others, they do not deplete you or hurt your well being.
Do something that’s good for others. They say that “doing good is a pleasure” and that sometimes the best way to lift yourself from the doldrums is to serve others. In fact, Jesus himself “went about doing good and increased in wisdom and stature and in favour with God and man”. Well, scatter sunshine. Pay it forward. Treat someone well without any thought of reward. One of my favorite things about travel is outing myself as an American by helping strangers. It’s well known that, although Europeans are helpful, they don’t usually volunteer to help. Americans, because we are overt, on the other hand will offer. I love helping strangers lift luggage, find a train, get directions, navigate the airport, and save money by interjecting when they need help and surprising them that there’s an American in that country who knows the language and can help them. Visit someone who is lonely. Help a stranger. Share your cart. Put your cart in the return. Change a tire for someone. Offer to buy lunch for the person behind you. They may seem like things of little moment, but moments are the molecules that make up eternity. And Jesus taught us that when we do things for the least of our brethren, we did them for and to Him.
Ask God if there’s anything He’d like you to do THAT DAY. I started this about ten years ago, asking God what He wanted of me that day. Sometimes, I get my answer after I say a kind word or do something I procrastinated and then He says, “That’s what I wanted you to do today”. When my dog was dying, many days He said, “Go home and love your beagle.” This is important for two reasons. First, it opens you up to divine correction and direction. Far too few people involve God in their daily decisions. While He might be part of the bigger picture with life goals and outcomes, He plays a minor role in their day, typically relegated to morning prayer and the blessing over dinner. Secondly, it gives you a chance to know that, even if it’s not every day, there are days when you pleased God because you sought and then DID His will. Many days it’s simple. Call someone. Visit someone. Be nice to someone. Give your students a pep talk. Offer up your extra loaf of zucchini bread to the department secretary. Say thanks. God knows us and watches over us, but it is often through another person that He meets our needs. You are His hands. You can also be His eyes, His voice, His ears, and His feet. One of the most important things you can do in this world is find out what God wants YOU to become, and do THAT wholeheartedly.
I cannot say that life is always easy or that I feel a sense of clear outcomes in these decisions I made and ideas I shared. I can however say that I sleep like a rock at night because I try to have a good day every day, and I can say that I look back and, despite not having an Instagram reel full of exotic adventures and amazing nights, I have a lot of good days that I feel good about. I have no clue why God asks certain things or doesn’t reward others. I run a 5K every morning starting 1 July 2023, and you can’t tell, but I feel better even though all that got skinnier was my wrists. I do things I like. I do things God likes. I do things I ought to do, and I help other people with things they need to do. If that’s not what Jesus did with His life, I don’t know what else He did. He asked us to follow Him and feed His sheep. This is my way of doing that.
It is a canard, in my opinion, that the only way to a satisfying life is to have a family. Family makes it easy. It provides you with a specific group for whom you are responsible and accountable, people you know well and with whom you can see long term results. But Christ never taught that. He taught us to love God with all of our heart, mind and strength and to love our neighbors as ourselves. If you have a family, serving and loving them satisfies those two commandments in a very obvious way, but you do not have to have a family to keep those commandments. People are brought into our lives often only for a season. Often the season is very short, and sometimes it’s shorter than we like. But there are no accidents. God does not play dice with the universe. He creates opportunities for us to demonstrate our discipleship. I also think He is not so much concerned with the outcomes of our actions outwardly as He is with the outcomes our actions have on our own souls. If you do good things, for yourself and for others, and you seek and act on His will, then your soul cannot help but be nourished, enlarged, and prepared for His presence. Maybe He doesn’t care if you get a PhD or promotion or a wonderful partner or a house full of children. Maybe all He cares about is that you come follow Him. And this is how you do it. This is how you cope with the storms and vicissitudes of life. Go about doing good, as much as you can whenever you can, and God will bless you ever the more.
