This morning on the way to work, I watched a guy hit a dog and drive away without checking on it. I was out front driving, and I saw the dog and stopped to avoid hitting it. He was behind me, speeding like a banshee, and went around me to pass and just smashed into the dog. I will be haunted for a long time by the sound I heard of him hitting the dog. There were two; maybe he hit both, but they were both young and none of us needed this enroute to work.
I don't really know what more I could do. I suspect that, because they were young, these dogs had never seen a car before except for riding in one. I suspect that they broke out and were just out "having an adventure" and had no idea that the day would go badly for them. I don't know who owns them, and aside from paying money out of my own pocket for a stranger's dog, I don't think there's much I could do. I don't know if the police even care about things like this. Did I do wrong? I second guess myself all the time.
It made me think about life in general and grateful for mine. I have outlived many people I know, and although my life may not be sunshine and skittles, since I am still alive there is a chance for a good day tomorrow or next month that will be worth sticking around for. Many children suffer; they hunger, they get cancer, they get aborted, they get abducted, they get diseases, and some get hit by cars too. Even adults can go at any time. I had a friend who was murdered in 2013 at the age of 41, and two years ago a guy I knew died of cancer at 37. Every day is frought with danger for us to dodge, and sometimes with dogs.
When my beagle was dying in 2019, I knew it was final. He had cancer. He was 16. If I took him to the vet, they would have just told me to euthanize him and "end his pain". I wasn't ready to intentionally kill something that loved me, so instead I tried to make every day as good as I could to make it worth him sticking around. Sometimes I wondered if, looking at his face, he was thinking, "Life keeps getting better and better. What will tomorrow bring?" Some days were blase; some were memorable in sad ways, but in the last seven weeks I had him, we had some tender moments that I treasure, and so I am glad for all the good times.
Any day could be our day. It's when it's avoidable or when young things die that we find it most tragic. However, any life not fully lived is tragic. We have so many opportunities. We miss so many opporunities. We dodge dogs and danger, but we also dodge hope and love and opportunity, not intentionally sometimes, but because we don't feel worthy or energetic or confident or like we can succeed. The dogs this morning looked happy when I saw them. I don't think anyone that saw them after the crash is as happy as they were. It was a wake up call for me to use today differently because it might be all I have left.
Before I left for work, as I have done for nearly two years now, I spent a half hour playing with my dog. We played fetch and tug of war. I scratched his belly and wrestled with him. I want so much to fill his life with good things so that, when he is gone, I have good memories on which to look back. I think all of life is bittersweet, but it is the sweet sometimes that adds savor to the bitter. I miss my other beagle a lot. But I also have a lot of good times on which to reflect where I did a good job at giving him a good life. I need to do the same thing for myself.
Today I dodged a dog and some danger. Today I am sad because a dog did not dodge danger and because some dolt in a Dodge ran over the dog and drove away. I am grateful that I was watching, but I am sad because the other driver was not. Today's tragedy was avoidable. I'm not at fault, but I feel angry and sad and empathy for anyone who knew that dog and loved him. I know how much I love mine. And I know that he loves me too. A dog's love is the closest I have ever known to God's love in this world since I left home, so there will always be a soft spot in my heart for dogs, especially the innocent ones who didn't deserve to suffer.
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