Online Dating: Worthwhile or Wasteful?

Share

Today marks the end of a four year experiment trying online dating. I joined four different apps and four other websites. I laughed a lot. I cried a lot. I found a lot of it absolutely crazy. I did not find that it was worth my while except that now I know of my own experience that for men like me, it's a complete waste of time.

One of my coworkers found out just a few weeks ago that I was doing this and shared up her experience before knowing mine. She complained that, even on the LDS sites, men only contacted her in order to have bedroom fun. When she asked me what my experience was like, I told her that on those sites, I had no activity at all. Only two LDS girls even matched with me, one of whom never responded, and the other of whom said she never wanted to have bedroom fun. Ever. In fact, it was the worst experience because, within 10 days, I had been through all the profiles within 500 miles of where I lived and exhausted my options. Since women of my faith (of all ages and marital stati) constitute only 1% of the US population, it has the lowest refresh rate. This means that, although more matches were possible, they would come at an ever diminishing rate. If they came at all that is.

I kept stats and data along the way and put it into spreadsheets, but only one statistic actually bears reporting. How many dates did I go on in the last four years from dating online?

ZERO

The only profiles that would talk to me didn't actually have any intention to meet up. I believe most of them were either women who 1. wanted affirmation 2. women who were bored or 3. con artists, some of whom were probably not women or at least not the women in the pictures. In fact, I know some of the profiles were using pictures they stole from other people, because I could find those pictures on the internet elsewhere despite the fact that the "women" were claiming they were recent pictures.  Several of them tried the romance scam on me, but I have already learned to be wary even with women I know who are attractive if they have ulterior motives.

Years ago my best friend opined that "Most of what you find on the internet is pretty useless, which is probably why it's free" and in my experience dating online is completely useless. The only people seeming to have any success are the players- the top tier of men who have so many options they do not have any inclination to actually pick a woman since they can have their cake and eat it too and still have more women lining up hoping for their shot.  I had the time; I wanted to give it a serious go. I am a scientist, but that's probably what turns women off.

What did I learn? I learned that I am not considered attractive by women. Except for the least attractive women. I forget who coined the 80/20 rule, but it says that 80% of women are chasing the top 20% of men, and given my experience, I am definitely not top shelf in the appeal department. I know women IRL who think I am amazing, but none of those women would date me anyway (particularly since some of them are already married), and so I must rank in attraction somewhere near Sloth from "The Goonies" not because I believe I'm unattractive but because that's how women regard me.  If it were not so, some of them would have at least consented to meet up with me and give me a chance.

I have had women find me attractive, and the three women I can think of were also women I found attractive. Trouble is that those women were forced to get to know me for some other reason and then decided that I was sufficiently attractive for them to give me a shot. Unfortunately, none of them worked out, and one of them didn't actually end up dating me because she hates all members of my religion. The only women who will date me now are obese and/or single mothers, and I'm not sure the single mothers are attracted to me or my wallet.

If you are having success as a man in online dating, it means you are highly attractive. Unless you are highly attractive, you won't get much screen time. I have watched obese women flip through profiles of men far more attractive than I without giving them a single second of consideration. Ironically, highly attractive people don't need the internet to date. Women are already attracted to them. So, if you're just an average guy or worse, like I seem to be, I suggest you get off the internet and spend time with people who appreciate you even if it's not romantic. It will be far more fulfilling, and you might just even have some fun.

Why I'm Still Here

Share

I don't talk about this much, but something tells me that someone needs to read what I have to say, so I'm going to tell you why I'm still here. I don't mean on the internet or writing this blog. I mean why I'm still alive.

The story begins back in the UK where, at the age of 6, I died for the first time. We were t-boned at a blind intersection somewhere in the countryside. Since we were in an American car, the passenger was killed instead of my mother. The car didn't have rear seatbelts, so I was apparently thrown from the car and died in the street. While emergency personnel responded to the scene, I remember standing on the curb with an old woman, who turned out to be the disembodied soul of my late great grandmother who had died just before we went to the UK. I didn't recognize her or realize for many years what happened. I do remember that she told me that she was there in case I wanted to leave because I didn't have to stay unless I wanted to.

Obviously I chose to stay, and I remember waking up in the street where paramedics resuscitated me wondering how I got from the sidewalk to the street. I know now that I chose to stay so that my mother, who lost a child that same year, would not lose two children. I don't know how it would have affected her.

My kid brother is now lost to my mother. He is married to a woman who doesn't want their family to have any contact with us. Last year at Christmas, they were there, and I flew in back from my vacation in Poland to be with them Christmas Day in time to see her throw a fit and pressure my brother into cutting off all contact with our family.

I don't have a lot of ambition or passion. I lost my muse and the best chance I had at a life of my own back in 2013. Since then I haven't found anyone I like who appreciates me. I don't have much expectation for my life having any real purpose. Next week will be ten years since a woman who was not a single mother was willing to go on a date with me. I am here so that my mother will not have to lose another son.

I'm not suicidal. I am in no hurry to die. I just am tired of plowing and sowing and reaping while other people get to enjoy the fruits for which I labor, even when they don't do a thing. I am not ready for death; I am ready for life. But since I don't have what I like, I keep mine so that my mother's will be better.

Sometimes people ask me why I live where I live. I am here for my parents. I may not be their favorite son. I may not be the best son. I am however the only one who was willing to put down roots somewhere they were willing to live. When my dad had surgery, I did most of the labor on their yard. When my parents leave town I watch their house. I'm here for my parents.

It's mutually beneficial. They watched my dog when I went to Poland. My dad speaks German with me. We go camping and share the outdoors, and I go over for dinner most Sundays. I'm here because my family loves me, and I don't want my mother to lose another son.

If you have spent any amount of time reading my blog or watching my videos, you have noticed I am pensive, dour and critical. The only thing I have that gives me any kind of life satisfaction is my new beagle. They took me off teaching status at work and robbed me of access to students (their loss). The Forest Service is discontinuing the program of which I have been part since 2015. But my mother is still there, and during quarantine when we were not supposed to touch people, she took the risk and would hug me knowing that I had nobody else. Family is the only thing in this world that is truly worth a damn.

I thank God for my family. In my younger and foolish years I opined that things were not as I wish. Then I grew up and realized I was pretty lucky and blessed to have the parents I have, to grow up when I did, and experience what I know. Some things were disadvantages, but I like the advantages enough to trade for them, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I hope that you have someone in your life that you love and who loves you. I hope it's your mother. I hope your mother is one of them anyway, because I hope you have many people who care about you. What makes this life really meaningful is three fold. The knowledge you gain, the character you develop, and the relationships you nurture. That's what keeps people here and makes those of us who are still here look forward to seeing those who matter in the afterlife. If you are still here, I hope you know that even if I never meet you or talk to you or sit under a pine tree with you or travel Europe with you that I love you. I chose to come back, and I know that's a rare privilege.

Self-Made Purgatories: Infidelity

Share

When most people see a single mother, they presume that the man abandoned his roles and responsibilities. Often, this results from infidelity. However, it also excuses the woman from any responsibility or involvement in the maintenance of her own relationship. Sometimes people create their own purgatories and set the stage for bad things to happen to them. Such is our story today, a story of infidelity in which the wife denies any role but in which she arguably has one.

I once knew a woman about a decade ago that we’ll call Lisa. Lisa complained a lot about her husband neglecting her and her daughter to chat online, play online games after work, and play poker with his buddies rather than interacting with them or tending to responsibilities around the house. I consider that a legitimate grouse. However, rather than discuss it with him, confront him with the reality of what was happening, Lisa lighted on a different strategy. She decided to ignore him completely in return.

Her logic in making this choice to return quid pro quo was that this would show him how she felt and inspire him to pay more attention to her. It had the exact opposite effect. Dinner was never ready when he came home; he had to prepare it himself. No gifts were given to him for birthday, anniversary or Christmas, but she expected them of him. And she cut him out of the marital bed completely and refused to be intimate with him. While it was possible that he would up the ante and work to repair the relationship, he retreated further from her instead.

At first, I’m sure it was mostly platonic. I imagine he gamed more, complained to his poker pals, and watched more streaming shows online. Eventually however, he found a sympathetic female ear who first was just kind but eventually one that was welcoming enough to offer him what his wife refused, and he decided to act on her invitations, or maybe he brought it up. If you ask Lisa about her story, she’ll just say her husband cheated on her, and she won’t tell you about the decisions she made that paved a perfect path that made it easier for him to make the choice.

While I disagree with Lisa’s husband, I also disagree with Lisa. Ultimately she did not force him to cheat, and he made those choices to ruin his marriage. It did not have to end that way. She could have made other choices. I know this because my own ex wife also cut me not just out of the bedroom but out of her life entirely. She would just leave whenever she liked, spend money whenever she liked, and even invited strange men into the master bedroom, where I was forbidden. A sympathetic female coworker listened to my plight, but I did not indulge in that behavior. Ultimately I found a different solution and dissolved the marriage through divorce.

I confronted Lisa about this one day. She of course refused my spin on her life. Eventually I got tired of her playing the victim all the time and ghosted her essentially. I could not escape the fact that she played a role, and she refused to accept that was even possible. You can’t argue with idiots.

People paint themselves as the protagonist in their autobiography. They are seemingly never to blame. However, I know that Lisa’s decisions helped make it more likely and more possible for her husband to chart a new course. In a sexless marriage, without any concern let alone intimacy, what did you expect him to do? He was a husband without benefits. Rarely however do people seem to ask the woman what led to the infidelity or how she ended up a single mother. They are simply supportive of the woman, molly coddling her even if she was in the wrong, and the man is slandered and libeled. So was I. People just presumed that I was responsible for destroying my marriage, but if you ask my bishop at the time, maybe he’ll remember that I was the one making an effort and that she never welcomed them.

It takes two people to make a marriage work and it takes two people to destroy one. If we only assume that the husband and his other lover are the two who destroyed it, sometimes we’ll be wrong. And people who are innocent will be convicted in the court of public sentiment. That makes us wrong twice.

Collusion and Tow Companies?

Share

Just before I left work on July 1st, University Police called me to tell me that my car was at a local towing company. This was in direct contradiction to what the detective told me I could expect. Police procedure means that they are supposed to scan the VIN if there is no plate (which there was none) and then contact me before calling a tow. I found that nothing happened the way I expect it.

The car was not how I expected. The only things missing were the contents of the glove box. I suppose they took the 1995 Saturn Owner's Manual as a trophy. Everything else they put into the trunk, including a tshirt that isn't mine and probably belongs to the thieves. All the parts were there except they tore up the ignition module. They only drove four miles. They probably couldn't start the car, because I couldn't start it with a screwdriver. So, it was always a loss as soon as it disappeared.

According to a sticker on the window, North Las Vegas PD found the car abandoned on the street on 20 June 2024. Apparently they did NOT run the VIN. Only after the tow company received the car did they contact UPD who called me.

I'm the victim here. Twice. My car was stolen. Then I had to pay money to either recover a car I couldn't start so I can find out if I can repair ir or pay money to let the tow company keep it. If the police had called me, I could have towed the car to my house for $50 on my own. Instead, I had to pay hundreds of dollars and didn't even keep the car.

This looks a lot like a scam between police and the towing company to generate extra revenue. I should have known on the 20th of June where the car was and had the chance to move it. Instead, they just put a sticker on the window and then let a towing company come get it so that I would have to pay for work that was completely unnecessary.

Something smells bad. IN any case I signed over the title and paid for the privilege of letting them keep my car. Twice the victim. THe only winner here? The Towing Company. Sus.

Dude, Where's My Car?

Share

I stuck around last night a few hours after work talking to a coworker waiting for it to cool down before I ran errands only to go out in the parking lot and find that someone stole my car. I was out near the car only four hours earlier, and I'm trying to figure out how they stole it without breaking the window. There is no evidence there was ever a car there. And they got a full tank of gas.

I feel violated and disappointed. I was never planning to drive it forever, but I liked having a Saturn, because I thought they showed I had nothing worth taking. Except of course for the car itself. I told the responding officer that I was trying to look like I had nothing worth taking but evidently failed. The car was a tool- to get me to work and back, and I liked having a beater car basically to just get me to work.

The car also had memories. My dogs travelled with me in those cars. I worked on repairs with my dad. And of course it's a great litmus test for people. It was part of who I am, and they stole it.

No word yet, one way or the other, and although I may never drive it again (they at least have to damage the steering column to get control of the car) I can't help wonder if it ended up scrapped for parts, taken on a one way road trip, totalled, burned, or hidden in a garage None of those are fitting ends for a faithful friend. Many people and things that mean something to us end up with inauspicious ends. This is not the one I imagined for my car.

Amidst the shock, I surprised myself by, once I arrived home at 9:45PM, I uttered a prayer aloud that I have only ever said one other time, when someone special was taken from me. "Thank you, Father, for this blessing. I know that thou lovest me and wouldst not allow this to happen if it were not for my eternal best good." I don't know how it will be to my good. I am hoping.

For now, I'm glad I didn't just get new tires on Memorial Day weekend or change the oil yet. Sunk costs into what will probably come back, if I ever see it again, as a vehicle no longer serviceable for the road. It's the "end of an era". To the thief, I have only one thing to say: Dude! Where's my car?

Gasoline and Prosperity

Share

In January 2020, my friend and I spent a week in Belize. We rented a car so we could get off the coast for our second trip and see the ruins, the jaguar preserve, Amish country, etc. He paid the car rental, and I paid for gas. At first, he thought this would be in my favour until he discovered the prices at the pump. Even more suprising was the reaction of the people in Belize when I arrived for gas.

In Belize, someone pumps your gas for you. It took me a few times before I noticed the look of surprise on their faces when, after they asked me how much to put in, I told them to fill it up. You see, back in 2020 the average annual salary in Belize was $10,000 so they only bought as much gas as they needed. My friend and I drove 1200 miles on that car in a week and used a fair amount of gas, and we didn't want to have to stop to get a few gallons here and there. I realized then that this showed them I was "wealthy" at least by comparison.

Contrast that to yesterday when I went to the gas station to fill my car in Las Vegas. The pumps tell a story of desperation. Despite reassurances that Bidenomics is working, people were buying 1.2 gallons, 5 gallons, and except for one other pump, nobody spent more than $20 on gas, and these people were putting it directly into their cars, not a jerry can for a lawnmower or something (which I also do sometimes). Granted, my Saturn only holds 12.125 gallons, but I put 11 gallons in the car and DIDN'T BAT AN EYE at the price. I'm upset it's this high, but I'm apparently prosperous enough that I don't have to actually ration money for gasoline.

Let's face it- driving is a privilege. We take it for granted in our society that we can jump in a car, go for a drive, and see the world. Most of our ancestors either walked everywhere or rode a horse. In the last 18 months, I have flown to Europe thrice, trips which would have taken a year in total if I had to go by ship. We are so prosperous now that we don't even know it, but the degree to which people do drive does indicate how prosperous our society actually is.

If you like me are over 40, you probably remember being able to fill your tank for $20 and burn a tank in a day and not worry. Back in 2007, I would fill my car every Saturday and drive as far as a tank would take me and back. Most I ever spent on gas was $30 and that was when I had to buy Chevron or gas in the middle of nowhere. It was a cheap day of entertainment. I used to drive around at night for fun. Now I don't. I only drive to things I really care to do, and I sometimes even walk my errands (the grocer is a mile each way).

Personal prosperity is reflected in our gasoline consumption. When times are good, we drive a lot. When times are dire, we only put in as much gas as we need. Apparently many Americans are living as if they have the standard of living of your average Belizean, and only putting in enough gallons to get to their next paycheck. On the one hand it's good because it means they are not wracking up credit card debt. On the other hand it's bad, and I feel for them because cars equal freedom.

I found a graph that I think is interesting showing inflation of fast food over the past ten years.

If you consider the actual inflation rate, it tells an interesting story. The rate of inflation increased significantly in 2021, coinciding with a change in which party leads this nation. I do not think it is a coincident. Our prosperity is down as a rule. I'm just doing well enough that I didn't notice the gasoline asymptote when I was in Belize, and I haven't felt it until yesterday. I still stay under my gasoline budget for the month, but that's because I don't drive anywhere "just because I feel like it" anymore. When I break the budget, I'll know even I'm impacted by Bidenomics, something of which Kamala Harris is very proud.

Food for thought.

Most Christians Are Actually Heretics

Share

People all around me like to call me heretic because I don’t subscribe to traditional catholic (or other Christian) dogma. However, I recently lighted upon a traditional belief that is far more heretical than anything I believe because it is actually a way in which we deny the Christ. Most Chrisitan faith alleges that God is no respector of persons while teaching that He is. That is not a merciful God, nor is it a Christian principle.

While serving as a missionary in Neumarkt am Wallersee Austria, we tracted into the Andexer Family. They invited us in because their son, who was probably around 20 at the time of his death, had not been baptized as a child. The local pastor told them that, because their son was not baptized as an infant, he was condemned to hell. We shared with them our dogma, it gave them hope, and while they never embraced our Faith, they from that time forward were friendly towards us and would wave when they saw us in town. He gave them wrath; we gave them hope. And whosoever beleiveth in God might with surety hope for a better world. Another chance.

You see, the teaching that only those who are baptized as children can be saved means that God is a respector of persons. Only those appropriately baptized as youth while alive can be saved by Christ. This denies the Christ, not that He exists, but that He is the Christ came to rescue and redeem ALL men. The catholic dogma, and in fact most Christian religions, make no provision for posthumous ordinances despite the fact that Paul asked “Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?” (1 Corinthians 15:29). This seems to imply that there was provision in the early church for those who had not the chance to accept Christ while alive to accept it once they passed out of the mortal realm.

It's not just Christians who are condemned to be cast by God’s wrath to hell by this heresy. This means that all people all over the world, either blinded by the subtle craftiness of men, or kept from the truth because they know not where to find it, are condemned, because they were BORN UNABLE TO HEAR ABOUT CHRIST. No Dane, nor Iriquois, nor Magyar, nor Selucid, nor Berber may be saved by Christ because they were not blessed by God to be born in a place and time to hear about Him. How can Christ be the Savior of Mankind if most of mankind is not allowed to be saved because they were not baptized Catholic, particularly as children? This is heresy. Worse, it is anti-Christ.

Regardless of where or when someone lived, all can hear and accept the message of the Redeemer and Christ’s Atoning Sacrifice through the sealing powers made possible in the Lord’s House. For Christ came not to destroy but to fulfill, and what does He fulfill, the promise that all mankind MAY be saved, if they wish to be. Now modern Christians teach how all you must do is accept Christ and let Him in, and then they shut the door and bar any of the Pagans from entry and don’t even give them a chance to hear and accept. This message gives men hope. This message brings the Good News of the Gospel. It also comforts Christians who are fearful, selfish, lazy or timid enough that they fail to either come to Christ themselves or invite others WHO ARE ALIVE to join us. Who are we to decide who gets to hear about Christ? Who are we to decide who gets to be saved by Christ because we decide NOT to preach of Him to them and thereby condemn them forever to hell by our bias? Through proxy ordinances, those who died not having the privilege of knowing about Christ may accept Him, follow Him, obey Him, magnify His name, and partake of His mercy, grace and love.

No man must be condemned by circumstance or choice forever to hell. That does not sound like a loving God to me. Rather, He made provision that all mankind may be saved and exalted by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel, regardless of their location in space or in time, even those who are beyond the grave. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whoso believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Even if they died before Christ or before they got a chance to hear about Him.

The simple fact of the matter is that we do not know who will be saved by Christ. Everyone CAN be, but that’s between them and Christ, and we have very little if any say in that. The catholic church has made it part of its dogma ever since anyone knows to deny the Christ and claim that they know who can and will be saved, but we don’t know that. In truth, I suspect myriads of Christians will awake on resurrection day not only surprised where they end up but also by those in whose company they find themselves.

Why I Oppose Student Loan Forgiveness

Share

I first started teaching university classes in 2008, and let me tell you I have learned a lot about the university system from being part of it this long. I have learned that some of the rumors are true that you believe and use as rationale to think that college is a scam. I have also learned a few other things. I learned that the first student loans the Biden administration forgave were for the ART institute. I asked the president, or whomever is impersonating him on Twitter, why no STEM loans were paid off and postulated it was perhaps because those people could find jobs and pay their own loans. Everyone should. If I was not consulted in the terms of the loan, why should I be obligated to pay the debt? Especially if the debtor is not. Nevada's students are not the highest grade ore you can dig up, and so we have tons of people attending university in Nevada who are not ready to actually achieve, succeed and prosper, and it puts a burden on the taxpayer and the professor to bring them up to snuff. Also, I don't know where the extra money went. It certainly doesn't make it into the classroom or my bank account. We have some professors who do extremely well and a horde of officers that waste our substance and harass us at our work, but that's another topic altogether.

Students are not ready to be here. A few weeks back, I went out to exercise my second amendment rights with a family friend who retired from the county school district. Among other interesting things, he confirmed that the Clark County School District did indeed force him while he was still teaching to pass students if they came to class a sufficient number of times. You don't have to pass the tests, submit the homework or even participate. Just attend, and you can get a C. This means that we have college students in Nevada who learned the square root of squat who are able to get into classes in Nevada Higher Education because our graduates have special privileges in college acceptance. I can't find an electronic copy of the article, but I share with my students an old copy of the Review-Journal that shows that 71% are not college ready, and that was in 2009.

Students abuse funding. Last summer, I noticed that every student in my Chemistry 108 (Nursing chemistry) class had two of the following items at least: an iPhone, an apple watch, and an iPad. When I asked how they could all afford those things, they unabashedly confessed that they bought them with their student financial aid. They were all hoping that, after getting student loans, they could buy frivolous and tangential things with that money and then have Biden forgive their student debt. I heard from the finance office that people are cheating the system by taking out credit cards in false names, paying for classes, pocketing the financial aid and never paying off the cards. I dont' know how widespread it is, but I know it happens. And it sickens me.

College degrees are a qualification for a job but no guarantee of a lifestyle let alone a position. Unless you are going into STEM or something highly specialized that requires collegiate training, college is a luxury rather than a good choice. How many English majors do we need? How many business majors? How many of these things have I actually learned while working for a PBS affiliate, for a rental car company, or in a logistics warehouse that were never taught at university? You can in many cases earn significantly more money learning a trade instead. In fact, statistics show that men are less likely to finish on time (if they ever graduate) than women, and that 71% of college students (female) in Nevada finish on time. Now I could tell you that most of my female students are still in traditionally female roles. Most chemistry students of the feminine persuasion are headed to teaching or nursing or some related health care support role. Very few of them are going to medical school or into laboratory science. I can name some, and they are spectacular, but most of the female students are not in STEM. Therefore, they are wasting their time getting a degree for a job that pays less per hour than Panda Express.

My paternal grandfather always believed that he was stymied by not having a college degree and insisted on his children earning one. My father never uses his and did quite well. I think that college degrees give you OPTIONS. But what they don't give me is a return on my investment. Politicians constantly cry that "education is an investment in our future". Well, investments pay the INVESTOR, and if I have to pay off THEIR loans, that sounds more like a long con than an investment. As long as we have unprepared students learning irrelevant programs and spending money on unrelated items, they should have to pay off their own loans. You should have to do your own homework. Unless the job you seek actually requires a degree, a degree is probably a waste of time, effort and money, particularly the more you have to retake classes, and I see tons of people retake classes who don't finish the second go around either.

Too many of our students are cheating their way through life and themselves out of a good life. Several years ago, a student came to me one night and told me she would do ANYTHING in my class to get an A. When I asked her why she didn't do the homework I assigned, I understood that she didn't mean what she said. Her lab partner, who overheard this, confirmed that this young lady was cheating her way through university and found me unexpectedly formidable. If we do not ask them to do their own work, pay their own bills while at university, who will do the work and pay the bills after they leave? It is hard to tell students no. I am frequently accused of bigotry, sexism, or inappropriate conduct, but only because students are trying to game the system. Often it would be less work and more fulfilling if they did the actual work required and actually earned it. That's why I don't think their loans should be forgiven. Ever. Most of the ones who default have no intention of paying anyway, and if you lead with loan forgiveness, we'll have even more students come here who are unprepared to succeed, unwilling to work, and unable to make anything out of our charity. And costs will go ever higher, financially, ecumenically, and psychologically. Mark my word.

Why I Oppose Abortion

Share

As a scientist, I get to discuss growth, development, and reproduction every semester, and yet the internet likes to remove any of my posts on these topis because I'm not a celebrity. However, there are some things I learned. I tell my students at the end of every term that all the things they learn all semester build up toward the entire point of a biological entity- to make a copy of itself and reproduce. Cells reproduce for growth, repair, replacement, and reproduction, because we need new cells to replace old ones and new organisms to replace those that are no longer capable of repairing themselves. Respiration, cell organelles and structure, macromolecules, membranes, all of these topics exist to help us understand how a brand new cell becomes ready to make a new one, or how young organisms prepare to replace themselves. Technically, the issue where we disagree lies in the fact that nobody wants to talk about when life actually starts. I'm not sure I know the answer, but there are some things you should consider when making that decision.

At conception, the embryo is a unique organism. As soon as the egg is fertilized, it constitutes an organism genetically different from either the host or the other donor. Half of its DNA is foreign to the host. It has some in common, but it is unique and distinct. It is also dependent on the host, but we all know some humans who are still dependent on their parents until the age of 26 or 80. However, they are visually distinguishable as different, behaviorally divergent, and intellectually unique. As soon as the embryo forms, it's a different entity. Is it alive?

Several stages then exist to help the host determine fitness and viability of the potential offspring. At any point in these stages, if the organism is found to be unable to reproduce or survive out of utero, the fetus is terminated automatically by the mother. This is not because it doesn't want offspring; it's because it wants the offspring to be worthy of the toil, effort and sacrifice put in by the host bringing the offspring to term.

As the baby grows, it gains increasing autonomic functionality. Although it still relies on the mother for food and oxygen, its own circulatory system begins to work, its stem cells make oocytes (if female), and its neurons control its movements in dependent of the mother. Is it capable of surviving on its own? Can it reproduce? Many babies never make it to term because they cannot function on their own without relying totally on the mother, but those who survive still depend on the mother for one thing.

Do you want to actually have a child? Does the mother actually want her child to survive?  We do not talk enough about intentional parenting, or intentionally becoming a parent. It seems like throughout time too many babies are "oops babies" or accidents rather than intentional outcomes of choices, and that's probably why so many people are so insistent on being allowed to abort ad libitum. We do not talk about abstinence enough. We have even gone away from talking about contraceptives. Never in my adult life have I heard talk until recently in the "manosphere" about choosing wisely the person with whom you actually want to have a family. Mate selection, since conception is so consequential to how our lives play out, is exceptionally important. If you don't want children with that person, why are you spending time with them let alone lying with them? Why does it have to be abortion? Have you considered adoption?

I think a lot of people make mistakes, but babies are not mistakes. They are miracles. They are the consequences and reminders of choices that we make. They are innocent. They don't get to decide who their parents are, and they don't get to decide if their parents want to keep them. There are so many other options in our lives. We don't have to mate and multiply because of a biological imperative. We don't have to cover up our mistakes by taking life. We can choose so many things. I am not anti-choice. I am anti-abortion. The entire "pro choice" movement is about neither being choice nor having the chance to make any choice. It seems to revolve around a single choice- the right to abort a baby. Even after birth. Why is that the only choice you will consider?

Of course every rule has exceptions. If you were a victim of forcible intercourse or in the case of incest, I leave that to you. I even leave it to you, should you choose, to pursue an elective abortion. I simply think it's the wrong choice, and it's certainly not a choice choice. It's a quick choice. A seductive one. But it comes with dark risks. What if they botch the procedure and you can't reproduce when you wish to? What if the perfect man refuses to date you because you had one? What if you change your mind? You have to live with that choice like all of the rest. I don't want anyone crying as Hamlet did "Out, out damn spot!" when they cannot remove the blood from their hands.

I claim the right to choose my own adventure, so I allow you yours. I think you should consider other options. I think you have a choice to not put yourself in a place where the option of an abortion necessitates contemplation. I think you should follow the admonition of Sir Thomas More: "You must not abandon the ship in a storm because you cannot control the winds." Rather, "you must seek and strive to the best of your power to handle matters tactfully. What you cannot turn to good you must make as little bad as you can." Choose the best option you can wherever you are, and if you have no other options, I hope you will choose better next time. That's the hope of Christianity and should be our message to you all. Improve when you can; hold your ground when you get there.

Called a Heretic

Share

Over the past month, since my last post, I have been called a heretic for my religious beliefs several times. Each time has been from other Christians. From time to time irreligious people will also criticize me, but I find it ironic that my greatest oppostion comes from those who claim to follow Christ. Is that what Christ would have us do? Slander each other with denotations? No, He taught us to use gentleness, meekness and love unfeigned. Periodically, "believer" friends cut ties with me because we differ on interpretations of scripture, but that's usually because they want to treat the doctrine as a buffet and only adopt the parts they like. Meanwhile, Kanye West is out there claiming to be God. I know that's crazy, but I'm the heretic. Perhaps this is a sign of the times, a separation of the wheat and chaff. It is certainly a call to arms for Christians to bind together and live like Christians, particularly towards each other. After all, we have far more in common with each other than with people who despise us just because we aspire to Christian values.

Christians Must Bind Together

I am struck sometimes when Christians attack one another. On my recent trip to Europe, I realized that it's little short of a standing miracle that Islam (or whatever beliefs the Huns and Mongols followed) didn't already overrun Europe. History is rife with petty infighting between Christian kingdoms of Europe who didn't understand that they need to hang together or they will hang separately. I take issue with other Christian denominations, but my Faith's leaders do not, and now i know why. They know that if we work together to bring people to Christ, we'll do more good for more people than if we look for the motes in each other's eyes. I don't have to agree with them in their dogma. I don't have to wage war against them for it either.

You don't hear as much about heresy in other religions as you do in Christianity because we are probably the most self-righteous group of believers. It's a heads I win tails you lose world where we are always competing it seems to eradicate each other rather than resisting wickedness and the world. The whole point of a congregation, besides authority to administer the sacraments of Faith, is to provide us with the opportunity to surround ourselves with people who will uplift and inspire us. Instead, it seems we gather together to tear down and disparage one another. I too am guilty of this, reproving betimes with sharpness without afterwards showing forth an increase in love towards those I reprove lest they esteem me to be their enemy. I don't feel TOO bad about this because I'm just a Sunday School teacher. Most people don't take my reproof too seriously. However, I think it might please Christ more if I apply the Pollyanna Principle and look for the good in them expecting to find it. That will bind wounds, even the wounds I opened. I think we need to bind together, to bind each other, to bind ourselves to Christ, to bind up the wounds between us, and focus on the Christ we all claim to revere and Follow Him.

Christians Must Speak of Christ More

My father shared a thought with us one Sunday night as we met together over Skype to discuss the chapters we were supposed to study and consider that week. He made an interesting observation which helped me immensely feel justified about my belief system and reject the notion of heresy. He pointed out that the scriptures are not really about the people in them at all. Those books feature those people, but the story is really the Saviour's story and His dealings with His children. Is that the response of a heretic? Heretics are usually anti-Christ. How is our belief system, our dogma, our narrative anti-Christ when it leads men like my father to distill all the doctrine down to this simple synopsis? You see, he's right. It's not about Sam or Nephi, Samson or Napthali, Paul or Baalim. It's about people who were either denying Christ or drawing closer to Him.

How do I know I'm not a heretic? Because I speak of Christ, I rejoice in Christ, I prophecy of Christ, and I write according to my prophecies that my childen, if I ever have any, may know to what source they should look for a remission of sins. Yes, sometimes I talk of other things. Money, politics, romance, but if you look at my videos, my blog, or my life, you will find Christ there ad libitum. Two years ago, a student walked into my office and was surprised to see a Greg Olsen calendar hanging on my wall where my "yay me!" wall (with my diplomas and awards) would be. The painting hanging for March is of John the Baptist baptizing the Christ. She could not believe that her Chemistry professor was a Christian. I asked, "Why can't I be both?" Yes, it doesn't come up much in class, and when it does it's the doctrine without mention of the Master, but when I can I talk of Him and how I pray and worship and read and believe, because I know many of them do but are too scared to admit it in academia because the rest of my colleagues are clothed in the black robes of a false priesthood and worship the devil over the divine. I'm tainted, but I'm trying.

Christians Must Live as Christ Would Have Us Live

The trick with this is twofold. First, the world competes with distractions. It wants to keep us too busy to "have time" to do the things that matter most. The second is that the world competes with din that drowns out our ability to receive and act on inspiration. A man I revere once taught "You want to be good and do good? That is commendable, but the greatest good that can be attained in this world is to be completely under the influence of the Holy Spirit. He will tell you what is truly good and necessary for YOU to do" (F Enzio Busche, emphasis added). We need to live as Christ would have us live so that we can maintain Christ in our lives.

Our world's problem is not one of stone and steel, of specie or equality. Our problem is that people have drifted away from Christ. We took Him out of our schools. We took him off our buildings. We removed Him from our worship services. We don't speak about Him or to Him enough in our homes with our families or on our knees. We trust in the UN to restore "Human Rights" and ignore the inalienable rights bestowed on us by our Creator.  For the past four years, the world has driven full speed ahead to a life devoid of Christ and distracted us with vaccines, war, and government largess. In our time it will not be possible for us to survive, either the spiritual onslaught against our souls or the mortal onslaught on our livelihoods without a significant and personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Only He knows what your purpose is. Only He knows what's truly good and necessary for YOU to do. Only He can speak to you in a way that you will understand. Only He won't be able to speak to you if you don't want to listen. That's what a Christian life is all about. It's not about a scale of your good versus your bad or getting into heaven with works. It's because when you live the commandments you qualify for the presence of the Holy Spirit who guides, comforts, teaches, directs and sanctifies you. No matter what happens then, if you were guided by the Spirit it will be counted for good, at least to you and God the Father.

I am blessed to have time, opportunity and discipline to kneel by the couch each morning and pray before I leave work. Often the prayer is the same. However, it is a prayer all the same. It is time I take every day before I go into the world to do things of the world to ask the God of the World to protect me from the World. I don't say it like that, but I think I'll start doing it that way. To ask Christ to protect me, guide me, forgive me, and make my work useful to someone somewhere. I begin my day with my dog and with Christ, and I don't feel bad about the Dog, because he's the best approximation of what I think God would be like in my life if I could see Him. And because the Dog is a reminder that God has neither forgotten nor forsaken me. So I should not forget nor forsake Him.

We are too proud to pray I think. We don't need Christ. We don't want Christ. We don't acknowledge Christ's hand in our lives. We don't want Him in our business. We know that we are proud and that makes us ashamed to invite Him. But that's exactly the right recipe for redemption. Maybe I'm not right about some things, but I know that if I encourage people to come to Christ, I'm giving good advice. If I inspire them to turn to Him, I'm setting a good example. And if I teach about Him I'm passing on a good message, the only one that really matters. Nothing heretical about that unless of course you are a closet Christian, a jacket Mormon, who puts on his faith only when it suits him.

We need to support one another better. We need to love one another better. We need to be better about making Christ the centerpiece of our homes, our hearts, and our honour. Then, even when we err, for Christ knew we would, we are centered on Him, and a house built on that foundation cannot fall even when it gets damaged or neglected or assaulted. Christ is the only sure foundation. It is all the rest that is truly heresy.