Thermophylae of Morality

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This week at Church, I heard an interesting comment. The woman who spoke mentioned how in chaperoning our teenagers she didn't have to worry about drugs and alcohol, only a bit of excessive roughhousing. It struck a stark contrast between what I see and hear happen with students at work, who are obsessed with recreation and procreation. Our society is far too focused on aberrations of morality.

Over the weekend, I was reading Herodotus. Yes, I read things like that. Unlike the popular versions of historically related films such as those depicting Thermophylae, I learned a few interesting things from Herodotus. See, he knew that for the Greeks the Persian army represented an unprecedented threat against the infant ideas of democracy, freedom and justice, which had only after centuries of mysticism and tyranny begun to take root in tiny Greece. For the Greeks, who fought amongst themselves as often as they fought their non-Greek neighbors, the landing force near Thermophylae would have looked as if the entire world had marched to war against them.

As then, a beast approaches. The Xerxes of modernity brings a mighty army hoping by force of weight and mass to impose upon us his morality. His army has many slaves but few soldiers, the people enslaved to the lusts of the flesh rather than inspired by a greater cause. Like Leonidas, the small force that stands against him stands on good ground, has good training, and holds a narrow pass. For all his strength, the weak ideals of the mentality that preaches "whatsoever a man does is no crime" must funnel against people who have been taught and trained to resist this notion to the death. Now as then Xerxes army is a great spectacle, poorly armored, poorly trained, dependent on their reputation and special tactics rather than on the men who are tasked with forwarding the notions.

Our army was trained differently. We were trained by our mothers to love what was good and brave and true. They taught us to trust in our God, to trust in what we know, to trust our hearts rather than in the lusts of our eyes. Many armies are inspired by land or money, because a king leads them, because they like killing, or because they fear the whips that force them forwards. Even Sauron had to force the minions of Mordor to march forth. We are inspired by a better cause. We are fighting for our loved ones, for our freedom, and for our right to worship and live in peace.

Our army is armored differently. Just like Xerxes hoard came with wicker shields, slight armor, and irregular weaponry, most of the weapons deployed against us in the war on morality are used inexpertly by amateurs in desperation. They rely on strength of numbers. We rely on each other. We have the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith which helps quench all the fiery darts of the wicked (Yes, one of Leonidas' men did say "We will fight in the shade"), a leather girdle of truth, and the sword of the Spirit of God. We have on the armor of God, and it makes the enemy quake and tremble for fear of our preparations.

Our army holds a straight and narrow path. Free men, who have chosen the way of truth and light, stand against many who are driven by things that cannot and do not last. We have, as Thomas Jefferson, "sworn on the altar of freedom eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man". We have a safe position, a firm position, one grounded in truth.

Our army fights differently than theirs. Our strength comes from the phalanx. We are not individuals. We rely on the strength of the men who fight alongside us, knowing that as long as we fight together they cannot penetrate our defenses. When the battle grows dire, few of the enemy will be able or inclined to hold the line.

Making a thing popular or legal does not make it right. The correctness in a principle comes from its ability to not only bless the life of the man who lives it but also from its ability to encourage and empower him to range forth using that principle to bless the lives of others. The new morality today is a reflection of our society. Like our gas stations, our lives have become self-service. New Morality teaches "You only live once, so live it up" instead of "You only live once, so live well".

Like Leonidas, we know we can hold this ground indefinitely unless we are betrayed. Somehow, Herodotus is not sure exactly how, the Persians found a way to flank Leonidas. If not for that, Leonidas could have held the pass indefinitely, because he had managed after two days to kill tens of thousands with few casualties of his own. This is a fight that can be won, that must be won, because we know that good will triumph in the end. The barbarians quake and tremble in their distant camp, knowing that at least since Leonidas made his last stand that the ideas by which we live have not only survived but also thrived. Our God is with us; our friends are with us. We will be victorious if we trust in right and hold the line at the Thermophylae of Morality.

Liberals Hate Westies

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Liberals hate Westies because we represent everything they don't like. When you head out west, what you find mostly is less a community as it is a conglomerate of people who live in proximity because it's rational so to do. We are not so much neighbors as we are allies, living together because it's to our advantage. Settlement in the west was generally done this way, and the west attracted people who were interested in freedom.

Liberals do not like freedom. As I have said elsewhere, according to them, you will always have too much money and freedom until you have none at all of either. They like people bunched together in urban areas because they're easier to control. Westies were originally rugged ranchers, very difficult to control, which is what spurred the men to action who would eventually become legends of the west like Hickock, Holladay, Earp, etc.

Westies do not really live a life compatible with leftist policy. The only reason why some of those things have made it into the culture and municipal codes of the west is because people have moved here now that it's easier to live in the west who have imposed those notions on us. Most of these liberals would never have survived out here back when my ancestors crossed the plains. They love the beauty of the west without having to pay the price, and now they like to impose their way of life on us.

By definition westies enjoy freedom. Sometimes, they like it too much. A friend of mine created this graphic which I actually like that describes the balance well, even though out west we tend towards rights over responsibilities in terms of the general populace.

In our families, we are all about responsibilities. To strangers, particularly if they come intent on mischief, we are much more skeptical. They can sleep in the barn.

What kind of people, in general, does one find out west? Many westies are fiercely independent, not reliant on government, and consequently not controllable except by persuasion. This might be why so many seperatist movements originate here. We remember that the United States ran us out, annexed the states where we now live from Spanish Mexico, and then forced us again to comply with their laws. We are the people who held on longest to such pictoral vestiges as the one-room schoolhouse, self-reliant farming, stay-at-home mothers, and the like. Our family-centric lives kept families close, valued children, and encouraged everyone to play their part long before the leftists talked about 'shared sacrifice'. If we were not successful, we were dead. We drive almost everywhere because it's a long journey to go anywhere of any significance, and because the Federal Government STILL hasn't finished the Eisenhower interstate system out here. Many of my ancestors "never worked a day in their lives" for a paycheck, but they worked a lot more in their lives than I ever will. Among westies, there is a greater focus on the family and Faith rather than on government or mother earth as god. Like Inga Barks once said of us, out west, "There is God and there is government. God is greater than government and government doesn't like that".

Government is mostly run by liberals who hate us. We are not supposed to be self reliant, and heaven forbid we start to depend on our spouse, our self, or our parish. According to liberals, you are supposed to turn to the government, which will make everything perfect. They forget we came here to escape government in the first place. What makes them think we'll buy that argument now? We remember Johnston's Army, how the Senate refused to recognize the election of Reed Smoot, and the dissolution of the Territory of Deseret. They have always hated us. They have always sought to control us because we do not need them. We have our God and we have each other, and we know that is enough.

What is Normal?

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Yesterday was a fairly normal day for me. It involved a lot of paperwork, a few meetings, some more paperwork, going to the gym, cleaning up around the house and thinking. I think a lot. For the record, I would also probably think a lot if I had a girlfriend, just perhaps about different things. The conundrum of the day was about what is normal.

According to the news, I am weird. Now, the news hasn't said that about me directly per se, but they did say it about Mitt Romney, which is probably a PC way to say Romney is Mormon. Thank you, Captain Obvious. We know that. What they really want to say is that Mormons are weird. When people say that I am not like them, I thank them; I tell them I would not want to be. I seek to be like Christ.

Of course, like most derrogatory remarks, the people who say this do not make any allowance for their own idiosyncrosies. They say we should look at things from both sides but they look at it from their own personal bias. They would do well to remember that in a multidimensional world every story has at least two sides. It's not weird at all that Barack Obama chose to attend Jeremiah Wright's congregation of his own free will and choice for 20 years, baptized his daughters there, and never heard any of the hate speech fomented by Wright. That's not weird at all.

I have never really been what most people call normal. On the rare occassion that I fit fashion it's because the trends have swung to be what I already wear. It actually kind of amuses me that most of the people I know, despite the fact that they claim they are different from most other people, are exactly like most other people I know. "I'm different", "I would never treat you like that", or "You can count on me" are all things I have heard before. Those people are now abject strangers and they have earned the right to be treated that way.

Frequently, we talk about normal without ever bothering to ask, "compared to what?" I have learned that 98.6F is not always the normal body temperature although it's close to normal for most people. Some things are very normal for me but very abnormal for you. Some of my favorite activities would be more normal if people were not ashamed to admit it. Rather than tell people what we actually think or prefer, we sometimes try to appease what we think they would like to hear. So many of our politically correct phraseology comes from a desire to avoid offense against people who seem to worry very little if what they think or say or do comes across as offensive to us. I don't do PC. I'm a Mac. I was a Mac before it was cool.

Long before I was born, it was once cool to live as I do. My paternal grandmother had hung in her home a cross stitch that read, "Use it up; wear it out; make it do, or do without." I travel with my now 10 year old iBOOK. It originally cost me $1500 in graduate school, and since it still works, does everything on a trip that I need it to do, and isn't likely to be stolen, I keep it. It's the same with my clothes, my car, my dishes, and some of my furniture. It is still serviceable and meets my needs. So, I continue to use it. When I showed up at my cousin's house last weekend (she is a successful medical doctor) driving a rented Mustang, she asked me why I still drive the stupid Saturn. It is cheap to operate, meets my needs, and allows me to use my money elsewhere. She acquiesced. I continue to use things that meet my needs that don't meet the needs of others. That way, I'm abnormal enough that hopefully people will leave my stuff alone and leave me to do my own thing.

What I really want at the end of the day is to live, be free, and pursue my happiness without interference from other people. I happen to think that's pretty normal.

Fahrvergnuegung

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I used to drive for fun. I still do from time to time. Before I moved to Vegas, I took a road trip almost every week to see a different part of the State of Nevada. Some of them were longer than 400 miles round trip just to see what was there. Most people don't do that much anymore. My parents admitted a few weeks ago that they no longer jump in the car to spend time together because it costs too much now.

As an American, but especially as a Westie, driving is a huge part of our lives. Many westies live far away from the 'comforts' of civilized life, and so in order to attend church or buy sundries, we have to travel quite a way. With the advent of the automobile, this became easy, economical, and practical, especially compared to walking or horses. When I was younger, we took annual family vacations to see historical places of interest or scenic country. Driving also allowed my mother to lull me to sleep when I had chollic. When my dad was transferred, we drove, and along the way we saw things, spent time, and built memories at places you can't see if you don't have the freedom to take back roads.

The news claims erroneously that gas prices are not a big deal because a paltry 63% of people consider them a hardship. Truth is that the peopel annoyed by this are not the people who go out with signs and pickett federal buildings. They seek solutions. For several weeks, my dad has been talking with me about his plan to buy a CNG converted car for use in his commute because it's only $2.50/gallon in Vegas, and Vegas has the highest price around. He's not complaining and asking government to help; he's being proactive and working to find an alternative.

Americans don't drive as much because of government intrusion. We don't drive because, like the article claims, we are more efficient at managing inconvenience. We are cutting back where we can everywhere we can. It's because we're no longer free to move about the country because the government does not want us to. They seek to control us. Government is actively trying to put us in smaller cars that are less safe and less comfortable. Government officials are trying to make us feel bad because we have had things too good. Government advocates are trying to make us use more efficient fuels even as they refuse to let us go get them. Government is trying to keep us from making use of the means with which the Lord has blessed us. I have to ask why CNG prices in NV are so high. Do we not have any natural gas? I know from previous posts about Nevada Energy that most of their power is generated by coal (78%), but none of those power plants are new. I suspect the price of CNG is high because we are only allowed to go after solar and geothermal projects.

Despite that, I still enjoy driving. This weekend, I drove up to Provo, saw a play by BYU's Divine Comedy (which is a tradition with my sister), visited some family and friends, caught up on my work, and saw some beautiful country. It cost me $270, but I believe it's worth the money to build memories with family.

Although Volkswagon has abandoned the Fahrvergnuegung advertising campaign, I enjoyed it. In driving there is enjoyment. I love the wind in my hair, the sun in my face, and the company of someone along the way. I love the journey as much as the destination. Sometimes, we just need to get away, and I miss the days when it was easier to move about the country. Gas prices are a symptom, not a cause. There are people who believe that gas prices are the cause. Surely they cause other things, but if we were allowed by our own government to actually use an "all of the above" approach like Obama's own campaign website claims, we'd see lower prices. Last night, my mother read a story about how we have so much CNG that we're running out of places to store it, which is similar to our huge gasoline reserves in the USA which we then sell to other countries. That's just stupid. Government is shackling industries, which causes prices to rise, which causes hardship. Sometimes individuals in companies are unscrupled; government is however normally nothing more than legalized plunder.

I enjoy driving. I enjoyed driving a Ford Mustang. My cousin thought I could totally pull it off as my own, and my sister thought I looked good with it. It sure beats driving my Saturn, but I love that car because it has taken me to amazing places at a great value. I have enjoyed driving it, and I will continue to enjoy driving it as long as the cost of operations is less than the benefits I reap from being able to go where I like when I like at a price I like.

Picking at Scabs

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Tonight, one of my Facebook friends sent me a private message. This particular individual knows that for the past several weeks I have actually had a prospective lady friend actually go on a date with me and then get together for regular albeit brief conversations since then. This person also knows that within the last few weeks the prospect has changed from "likely" to "slim to none, with slim walking out the door" and is concerned about my social prospects and reaction. So, this person has on his own recognizance taken it upon himself to look through my Facebook friends and tell me how many attractive friends I have.

I appreciate the concern. I appreciate the statistical analysis. I appreciate that they did not have to be asked. It's very supportive. I know this person wants to make sure that I can look back on this time without regrets and enjoy some modicum of happiness now.

Last weekend, the leaders of my Faith once again called to task those males of my faith who are deliberately postponing marriage. Interestingly enough, this message bothered me, even though it's not like I'm actively engaged in an effort to avoid fatherhood. In fact, most of my pleas fall on deaf ears. I didn't go on a single date in 2011, not because I didn't ask, but actually because at least nine times I can recall offhand I showed up and was stood up by girls who were no-call/no-show. By the time I was 30, I had accomplished everything I initially wanted to do with my life besides be a dad.

I find it interesting that in trying to be helpful this person has actually picked away at a scab and caused a new injury to an old wound. I know this person thinks he is being helpful, but all he has done is reawaken an old wound. Last weekend in Microbiology, we discussed what happens underneath a wound to help heal, and so I know full well not only the consequences but also the mechanisms involved when we open old wounds. In fact, I came very close within a 24 hour period this week to having face-to-face confrontations with two young ladies who frankly friendzoned me and harshly so with contumelies after having led me on for quite some time. I do not wish to talk to them because I am trying to heal, and that will just leave me vulnerable to repeat injury if I allow them to pick at my scabs with their ostensibly friendly banter.

One of my first reactions to this was a scene from the Princess Bride (1989). When they go visit Miracle Max, they verify his identity, asking if he's the Max who worked for the king. Max sneers as he replies, "The king's stinking son fired me. Thank you so much for bringing up such a painful memory. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice papercut and pour lemon juice on it". I know the men who asked didn't mean to cause him pain; in fact they came to offer him business. It was a win-win scenario poorly enough handled that it looked painful to Max.

God saw fit when He created me to bless me with an above-average ability to recall at will and sometimes against my will things I have read or heard or experienced. When this particular lady friend of mine this week decided to give me the cold shoulder, flashbacks of a similar situation with another young lady who even has the same name flooded back after years of dormancy. They say that time heals all things. I disagree. I think that over time, your heart puts scabs over painful experiences so that your brain can move on. Somehow, I know that God handles this better than that. I know He has them because we wound Him constantly. Some day I hope and ask Him to teach me how He deals with painful memories.

There is a healing process. It involves the right things done by the right people at the right place at the right time and with right authority. You're not a doctor or a psychologist or a pastor; what I really need to heal is something else to do, some other reason to exist, and direction to make something else with my life. I need to be healed, which means that the old must pass away and become new as the proper mechanisms operate beneath the scab to replace the damaged areas with new life. When we do not allow this process to proceed as it should, scars result. Let me heal with a wise heart and a submissive soul. Only then can I be whole again.

Willful Ignorance

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Sometimes I see quotes on the internet that I really want to be true. People will attach names to quotes in order to give them greater credence, which is one of the more common logical falacies- appeal to authority. I really want some of them to be true, but I try very hard not to pass them on unless I can cite the source. When I can prove it was said by someone else, I cite that source too.

This is a primary driving force behind the books in my library. I have tracked down books that are out of print so that I can prove not only what people said but also the contextual clues that surround those quotes. Several years ago, a prominent member of my Faith quoted something out of context in an attempt to coerce me. All he did was cite chapter and verse, probably thinking I wouldn't know what it said, and when I challenged him on it, having unbeknownst to him committed it to memory by a coincidence several years earlier, he balked.

When I see fake quotes online, I try to address them. I know many people rely on Google and Wikipedia for their information, but like I tell my students, it's always better to do your own research, to do your own homework. I have spent a lot of money tracking down books so that I could accurately verify what was said by whom and why. The Thomas Jefferson Memorial Foundation knows that I have a complete and matching original set of his works, making me one of a few select private individuals who can say that. Added to that, I have actually read these books whereas other people go online and just assume that what they read Jefferson said is true.

I believe the worst type of ignorance is willful ignorance. Blithely passing on things as if they were true without verifying them is laziness atop ignorance. Parrots do that. Even where I cannot prove it, I will admit that, saying something like, "It's true, but I forget where I read it. I invite you to verify the truth. --Gavin Sweeting". I was there when Gavin said that, so I know it happened.

Several years ago, I visited Independence Hall for the first time. Immediately prior to my visit, I had completed reading John Adams' notes from the continental congress. When the tour guide said three things that were not true, I called her on it. "Don't make me go back to my friend's house, grab the book, come back here and prove you wrong," I told her. My friend calmed me down enough to back off that challenge, but I complained to the National Park Service because I had been rejected for a job at the site for "inability to demonstrate sufficient subject matter mastery for the job". I still have that job rejection letter. I was angry. I knew more than the tour guide, and she told me I was off my rocker. Several weeks later, the Secretary of the Interior called me, and events were set in motion to make things right.

Some people are paid to study. I'm a professor, and we are paid part of the day to prepare for lectures. That means reading the book, getting our facts straight, keeping abreast of current events, etc. Very few professors prepare every semester (I have had no choice since I have never taught as yet the same course twice), relying instead on old notes to save time. We do the students a disservice when we teach falsehoods or "the philosophies of men mingled with truth". My opinions are irrelevant. Nobody will ask them what their professor's opinion was. They will ask them for truth. If I do not do this, I am willfully ignorant, and many other innocents may pay the price.

I am convinced that willful ignorance is related to sloth and arrogance. When you think you know everything, what need have you to learn? However, I cannot prove that Einstein ever said that the only thing worse than ignorance is arrogance. I think the worst kind of ignorance is willful ignorance, because if you have the opportunity to learn and reject it, that makes you more foolish. Who is the bigger fool- the person who cannot read or the person who can who does not?

Do not be afraid to learn for yourself and challenge people on their premise. As I teach my students, everyone has an angle, and my angle is to convince them that everyone has an angle. At least I own that I have one. When we pass on things that are not true, we waste their time and substance because people make decisions based on the information given to them. The better the information I have, even if it's not complete, the better my decisions will be and the more reliable and useful my conclusions will prove to the world. You get out of something what you put in. Make sure you put in something quality, something learned, and most of all something true.

Romney: Albatross?

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Romney is an albatross as a political candidate. I am not entirely sure which way it will go yet. I do know that an albatross was once a sign of good fortune until some idiot killed it, but normally it is taken as a bad omen. If Romney is elected, Mormons may rue the day.

The last member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to mount any kind of successful presidential campaign was also the first person so called in this millenium. Joseph Smith, Jr., Lt. General of the Nauvoo legion, mayor of Nauvoo, IL, founder and first Elder of the Church of Jesus Christ LDS mounted a fascinating campaign. I have read his platform, and while some of it sounds spectacularly silly in modern times, it was fascinating in its day. Romney's platform doesn't sound much like Smith's. Despite Romney's claim to fame as a blood member of a leading church family, he apparently forgets that God sometimes chooses farm boys and shepherds and fishermen rather than members of prominent families to do His work. Smith was also the prophet of the church at that time. Romney would do well to remember that he is not THE prophet. Smith was also assassinated by a mob during the general election. Romney would do well to remember that also.

Romney needs to realize that all of the world will be watching him. Whether justified or not, they will unjustly ascribe everything bad that happens during his presidency to him and by proxy to every other member of his Faith. Church members will be blamed for what he does, and it may curtail many of their achievements and advancements in society in addition to the existing unfairness with which they are currently regarded.

Although I cannot be entirely sure, I believe that during the General Conference last weekend the leadership of the Faith spoke to him. Whether he realized it or not, I have no idea. They spoke of unrighteous dominion, or the tendency of almost all men as soon as they acquire the least scintilla of power to immediately begin to coerce, compel, and coopt men, forcing them to act according to the mastermind. Elder Larry Wilson said, "Any time we try to compel someone to righteousness who can or should be exercising his or her own moral agency, we are acting unrighteously...We cannot simply force others to do the right thing. The scriptures teach us that this is not God's way." I would warn Mr. Romney against attempts to apply the Adversary's methods as a means to enact the Father's plan. If doing were the same as being, then Lucifer's plan would not have been rejected; we would have all been compelled to be righteous, and that would have been enough. We must lead in righteousness, and I am not convinced that Romney has internalized that message. I am not convinced that Romney believes he is capable of making any mistakes or has any need of the Atonement. If men can make other men or even themselves perfect or if they can usher in a utopia among men without changing their nature, what need have we of the Savior?

In truth, my biggest complaint against Romney is that I cannot tell the difference between him and Obama. This goes far beyond Romneycare v. Obamacare. He may think such policies are for the good of the one being controlled, but if that's the case, then why is he better than Obama who believes his policies to be likewise? As Daniel Webster might say, although both men mean in their own minds to rule well, both of them mean to rule. Compulsion builds resentment, conveys distrust, and forces people to lose learning opportunities. We are taught in the Faith that we must act only by persuasion, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned. From what I can tell, Romney does not believe in the market system; he does not believe in liberty; he believes in masterminds who tell you what to do and force you to do as you are told. He believes he knows better, but he is a MORTAL MAN. His economic activities notwithstanding, he is also flawed and needs the Atonement just as much as you or I.

I know that I am about to make many Mormons my enemies. I know that many people won't like what I say. I invite you to clarify this for yourself. Look at the man. Look at the plan. Look at his dogma, his creed, and the doctrines of the Faith he ostensibly follows. I fear Romney will contribute to exacerbation of the self-licking ice cream cone syndrome, where men surround themselves with people who parrot their politics rather than people positioned and poised to do the best job possible with the means at hand. Romney seems to me to be a trojan horse rather than a panacea. If he were as strong as everyone likes us to think he is, then how come he has just barely over 50% of the delegates he needs?

My other concern about Romney is how he campaigns. Elections seem to me like a job application. I don't know anyone who got a job by going into the interview and telling the board why they shouldn't hire the other guy. They always sell themselves. Romney attacks not the ideas of his opponents but their character; ideas are where Obama is weak, but Romney is weak on them as well. They will not talk about their records; they will probably sling mud, and the problem with that is that the first person to sling mud is the first person who gets dirty. Do we want success and freedom and happiness or do we want to centrally plan? Even in the Faith Romney ostensibly practices, the men who hold positions of authority bow to the will of God, not to the will of any man, who is fallen. I am not aware of any ceremony under the auspices of which Romney has been made immortal and been exalted to the status of deity. Then again, maybe I'm just not invited to those kind of ceremonies. Romney should consider the folley of trying to make earth, which is fallen, the utopia that heaven alone can sustain.

It is, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ, in Christ that we trust. We do not worship Romney. He cannot save us. He cannot even save himself. Just because he sits among us and calls himself a Christian does not make it true any more than it makes me a car to spend lots of time in my garage. I have said for years that membership in the Kingdom of Christ depends more on who has your heart than who has your records. If Romney will realize his true position, I think he'll do better, as we will also if we remember it too.

In a Good Place

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After I finished racquetball this evening, I ran into a young woman I knew from high school. I think she was two years behind me, but she saw through my beard and sat to chat a while with me. As we spoke and she caught me up on her comings and goings, I realized it has been almost 15 years since I finished high school, and I started to weight my standing. Recognizing some of my feelings, this young lady volunteered that her husband, who is seven years her senior, was just about ready to give up when they met. Partially, I think she did this to give me hope.

When you consider all the details, I'm in a good place. Add up the time since high school spent in school and the fact that I've been working as a professor for four years (I was hired on in October 2007 and started teaching in January 2008), and I'm basically right on track. My track record is even more impressive when you consider some of the hiccups that have come my way along the way. Sometimes it's funny to watch people's eyes glaze over at parties or other social functions when they discover I'm a chemistry professor. Frequently some of them will tell me how much they hated chemistry; I tell them I won't take it personally. Being willing to teach classes professors hate got me the gig in the first place. After all, how many 28-year-old college professors do you know? I started very young in the business.

Along the way, I've had some interesting experiences and learned many things. Chief among these are that I decided that if I was going to be damned anyway I might as well be damned for who I really was. I learned to be true to myself, to give myself permission to be myself, to allow myself some pleasures in life and how comforting it is to the mind and soul when you are. I sleep very well at night as a consequence. Everything that is in my control is under control or headed in that direction. The only facet of my life that isn't as I wish it were is one in which I am not the only decisive factor.

Last Friday, I was on Skype with an old friend from Austria helping her with her English. At one point, she turned and asked me point blank, "I know that you're unhappy there. Why do you stay?" In 2010, I felt very strongly that I needed to put down roots here. When I walked into my house, I knew that it was where I needed to be. I had just settled all accounts (and painfully so) financially with my ex wife, and it was time to be me and do what I do. I bought a house, which I have made largely my own, and by next weekend the front yard landscaping will be completely finished, a far cry different and a large degree improved from the previous product. I'm doing my small part to beautify the small rectangle of the planet that is mine.

From here there is room for much improvement. Whatever surprises may raise their ugly heads from time to time, my past has demonstrated to me that I can do hard things, that I can cross great deserts, and that I can overcome great challenges. This weekend, I'm continuing a tradition, and this summer I intend to finally make it to Alaska even if I go alone. Soon, I'll have my renewed passport, and then it's off to Japan and Israel, because I can and because I desire to.

I am sad because of the people who once meant something to me who have extricated themselves from my life. However, I have also learned that the people who belong will remain and that God will strive with those who should remain to persuade them to stay. If it's good it will happen. If it's really good, not just if I think it's good. Also, as I shared previously on Facebook, I have learned that no matter how amazing you believe something to be, something at least as good comes around again if you remain patient.

While I wait, I'm in a position of strength. I live as I please, and I do things that are good and brave and true. I continue to improve and grow. I bought a violin today because I can and because I think it would be cool to play one. Nobody got upset about the expense; nobody will be bothered if it takes me a long time to learn it. One of the greatest things I have is freedom, and it is sweet even when sometimes I crave something else.

Just the Little Things

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Frequently we feel that the little things don't matter. They tell us not to sweat the small stuff and then tell us that it's all small stuff. However, that's a knife that cuts both ways depending on the tale you desire to tell. This Saturday, we were discussing in class what actually constitutes an infection, about what a microbial quorum is, and about how many infectious microbes it takes to ultimately kill a man.

I told my students that their immune system is actually the last line of defense. By the time you manifest symptoms, the infection is already established and widespread. Within 24 hours, a single microbe can multiply into millions. Truly, Mr. Miyagi was right when he taught us that the best way to avoid a fight was to not be there. Similarly, I told my students the following couplet: "All the water in the world no matter how it tried Could never sink the smallest ship unless it got inside." When microbes penetrate you, little things make big differences.

Sometimes little things in our lives, like a virus, will fester. They hide themselves in our cells, in our memories, and then express themselves when we are weak or tired or bored. As they fester, they wear away at our tissues, sap our strength, and fill us with damnable puss and mucus that keep us from moving forward and retard our growth.

Yes, little things can be a big deal. They do not need to be. There are things available to us to help us purge little things from our bodies and minds just as the immune system purges us from invading microbes that lodge inside our DNA and memories. Only if we let ourselves be healed can we really move on; otherwise, we run the risk of reinfection and return to a state of general disease.

Just as small problems can grow, small triumphs and habits that are good can too. Daily prayer, regular service, patience, gratitude, and other characteristics can start small until they make great things happen. This kind of small stuff also matters, but in this case it is small stuff that we desire to nurture, water, and encourage until it blossoms and grows fruit in our lives. Only when we plant small good things in our lives can we rely on a steady supply of good fruits from mighty trees of character.

Almost 2000 years ago, on a small mountain in a distant desert city, a man of no reputation or wealth or influence walked into a garden. There, he lay down to suffer for our sins that we might not suffer if we would repent and reconcile ourselves to God. The following day at Golgotha, he suffered an ignominious death. His hope is that we will not let little things become big things that ought to be removed and that we will cultivate the little things that are good until they become part of who we are.

Today, 'twas just the little things. What we nurture today will grow tomorrow. What grows into a bigger part of you depends largely on what you decide to remove and what you decide to encourage. Little things either break men or make great ones. That choice is up to you.

Bad Business Practice

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Yesterday, I closed out a case with eBAY for an unpaid item I 'sold' at auction. In my life, despite the fact that I have always met the terms, people have complained about difficulties in the transaction even if they were difficulties beyond my control. However, in this case, I was more than patient.

After the auction was over, I received only one message from the prospective buyer. It came after I contacted him over a week later asking why he had not paid, asking if he'd received my other emails, etc. He made an excuse, and I gave him two more weeks. Even when eBAY contacted him, he made no attempt to communicate. This is the only place where I will complain, and I will bar this person from ever bidding on one of my auctions again. There will be no negative feedback, no complaining, anything of that sort; I won't even list their seller ID. I have found that sometimes leaving neutral feedback prompted a negative response, completely unjustified though that was.

EBAY has been a mixed bag. Some of the people are amazing. Some of them are lousy. Most of them are honest. I attempt to be, and it's clearly stated in my terms that I will make things right if people ask. However, when I pay for an item that never arrives and the seller tells me "tough", that's bad business practice. I have not made a stink about items that arrived in conditions other than advertised or the book I once bought that had a stamp inside the front cover indicating that it was a free copy. I could have written and asked for a free one. Usually, it's good enough, and so I'm ok.

When I give you money for a product, I have agreed that I value what you claim it offers at the price I am willing to pay. As a seller, you are obligated to provide what you advertise. My father told me of a time when he went down to pick up some photography equipment he saw advertised. The salesmen all told him it was an error, but my grandfather, who worked in advertising, told them they would sell the set to my dad because they were obligated. A few months back, I went down to look at a newer car, with the internet advertisement in hand because it said that was worth an extra $200 discount, only to discover the price was $1000 more at the dealer than in the ad. I didn't want the car badly enough to argue, but I could have held them to it. I refuse however to buy a car from them, no matter how good the deal appears to be.

The worst punishment I can think of to inflict is to treat people as the strangers they have earned the right to be. When you grieve the social contract, I elect to abstain from future contracts with you, even if you're the only person who might be able to offer it. I have learned that no matter how amazing something seems, something at least as good comes around again if you are patient long enough. In a free economy, I can select which businesses I support by spending my money at places where I am treated as a valuable customer. At least in this case (as opposed to the lost at sea items), eBAY did right by me.