To Be Seen of Men

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Especially now, people everywhere find themselves in need of help in various forms. They struggle with financial, physical, psychological, and spiritual burdens made all the more dire by the fact that the world itself is also up in arms, literally. Most people prefer to give money because it's easy, but what they need isn't usually money, even if money would temporarily help, because that's just a symptom of the larger problem.

I was a regular downtown Friday afternoons to feed the homeless for over a year. Eventually, the North Las Vegas Police kicked us off the property, after it grew so much that we looked like an eyesore on an important afternoon. People came from everywhere to help us dish out what was provided, and some even chipped in money or arranged for donations, but they were intimidated by the homeless. I was there, ironically enough, because the homeless were intimidated by me. I walked up and down the line, ostensibly to keep order, but mostly because I was talking with the people about their spiritual and psychological needs. I knew that the best thing I could really give them, even if I concurrently handed out socks, was my time and my attention.

Most people however satiate themselves caring for only the physical needs. They would rather feed a man for a day than teach him to fish. We tend to the physical needs of people for two reasons. First, it's easy to see it bear fruit and rarely costs us much. It works immediately, provides feedback immediately, and costs you cash, which is easy because it's not personal. Secondly, we can take credit. We have been trained to do things so we can put them on our resume or college applications or whatever. A direct link can be established between the recipient and the giver, and so we will go out and take credit for things unjustly ascribed to our actions.

We do not take care of the spiritual needs of people because it's harder work and harder to tell we made a difference. Besides that, ultimately, we don't do any of it, because the soul is healed by the Savior. Where there is sin or struggle or pain, ultimately there is little in our poor power to do. At best we, like I did down on the Strip, can only listen and show empathy, but ultimately the healing happens some other way.

Today I listened to members of my congregation thank other members of my congregation for their great help. While they do this to alleviate temporary albeit urgent needs of the people, they ignore the fact that others labor under guilt, shame, grief, and other burdens that cannot be solved by food baskets and cashier's cheques. I wondered if these members of my congregation did what they did to be seen of men- so that people would thank them publicly, so they can take credit. Even if they're helping others deal with other problems, we'll never know because those things should be secret, and if we do reveal them, it's a gross violation of confidence.

For the most part, I do what I do in silence. I prefer to fly under the radar and just do what I do because I ought. I don't like public recognition or awards. I like getting paid, but I don't publish or parade around my paycheck so all may note what great contribution I make to the school. While I keep a file of nice notes from students, I also keep it in a box under this desk, where I can read it when I feel down but where it otherwise remains anonymous. God knows what I did and those people know what I did, and that's where the accolades belong- between us.

When we act to be seen of men, our reward ends there. We have our praise, our plaques, or our paychecks, but our existence lasts far beyond retirement. I am laying up treasure in that other world knowing that lasting things last and immediate gratification rarely satisfies. I am perturbed by the focus on being seen on applications for college, programs, and such. I even hated having to read through resumes for an opening in our group because I had to rank people based on how well they lather themselves with accomplishments. Ultimately, all that we have and are comes from God. In Him we live and move and have our being. It is because of Him that anything we do or are is seen of any man, and I thank Him for His mercy giving me this day so that you can see this. All glory to Him. He's the source of all my good ideas, phraseology, and actions. I justly ascribe everything good you have through your association with me to Him. Give the glory to God.

Unashamed of My Past

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In his funeral oration for Caesar according to Shakespeare, Marc Antony sardonically points out that “the evil that men do lives after them [while] the good is oft interred with their bones”. As humans, every one of us has a part of his past with which he’d rather dispense, particularly when the lens of public or private scrutiny investigates his behavior and associations looking for problems. Having previously applied for a security clearance, I have already had the government go over my life with a fine toothed comb, and the things that might be cause for concern have been resolved to the satisfaction of the government. In short, they decided they can trust me, and so can you.

Many people cannot say that. I encountered a nice woman a few weeks back who inquired into college prospects for her daughter. When I suggested that she come get a degree and upgrade her life, she informed me that she had made a series of unwise choices when she was younger and had ascended as high as she expected to. I felt sad. I also have a great deal of respect for this woman because she did not try to hide it.

The best way to handle problematic issues for me has always been to face them head on. I find when you try to avoid or delay problems they grow and fester and eventually flank you at a time when you least expect and can least afford to face them. I have been the victim of false accusations. I have been the target of false aspersions. I try to take things with a grain of salt when other people claim something. Recently, I discovered this chastisement from God in the book of Job: “Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge? Gird up now thy loins like a man…and answer thou me.“ It’s powerful, and it reminds me of how extremely common it is for people to assume that what they hear is true without doing any research on their own.

Last night, I told my class that I used to go to Wikipedia and alter the articles so they were false. This week, I read about a political candidate who has altered her records so as to obfuscate details and remove references, making it more difficult for people to find out the truth of who she is and what she has done. That looks very suspicious. I begin to think she has something to hide. I do not come out and advertise what people might believe to be skeletons in my closet, but if you discover one, I still have my paperwork from my SF-86, and I can show you that those incidents were words without knowledge, and I have never tried to hide these events. I just choose normally to mention other things.

In attempting to hide her past this candidate threatens her future. It raises questions when people find out you doctor documents. I mean, Harry Reid claims that Romney altered his tax returns. I don’t know how you do that, but if it’s true, it’s no less serious of a crime for Elizabeth Warren or Barack Obama to have done so, since both of them are under suspicion of trying to hide the truth from folks.

Everyone makes mistakes, because everyone is human. The trick is to not let your mistakes make you. I am unashamed of my past and unafraid for my future, because the choices I made led me to become the person I am, and the person I am is a person I desire to be. I made choices back then with the best information I had, and when I discovered that I made errors, I made course adjustments. I have been focused for several years now on divine correction and direction, and because I believe in Christ, I believe that for the truly penitent man the past is done away and the Lord remembers it no more.

As we left the exam last night, I told one of my students that I expect great things because I’m trying to make of the rising generation a better one than that to which I belong. I desire them to be better so that we as a people can advance, and so I do not worry if they see my weaknesses, because I know they are smart enough to sort out the wise parts of my life from those that are otherwise. I do not mind sharing my philosophy because I believe it will help them forge their own path, and I have already seen that bear fruit. I take strength from my beliefs, values and norms. They guide my actions and help define who I am. If you find my thoughts amusing, laugh. If you find they support yours, rejoice. If you are taken aback at my lack of wisdom, thank God that He made manifest my weaknesses to you that you may learn to be wiser than I, and that’s why I write this blog in the first place.

Gracious Behavior

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Years ago while in High School, my US History teacher showed us the movie “Glory” in class. It was rated R, and as a Junior, I was not 17 until just before finals. Having not produced a signed permission slip, I should not have been allowed to see the movie (which offended my sensibilities), and so I filed a complaint with the school district. My teacher, who shall remain nameless, was promoted from teaching to “Dean of Discipline” at my same high school. I have always found that to be a paradox on many levels.

As I grow older, I find this paradox to be the rule rather than the exception. Rather than punish or remove the miscreants, they promote them to positions of both higher authority as well as higher remuneration. I have found this to be true in almost every job I have ever held, that the worst amongst us are promoted while the people who carry the lion’s share of the work are burdened more and more until they quit and go elsewhere.

Frequently, I wonder how these people rose to positions in the first place. As Democrat politicians bemoan the lack of “civility” from GOP “attack ads”, they blissfully ignore the graphic and violent hatred spouted from their own side. Rather than punish or fire these people, I expect they will be promoted and rewarded. After all, it seems to be a badge of honor with DEMs to be immoral, unethical, and unashamed thereof (Lewinsky, Chappaquiddick, and Solyndra ring a bell?). I suspect it’s a basic form of cronyism, where people surround themselves with people who agree with them rather than with people who are the best at the job.

I rather suspect that people refuse to promote me, not as a punishment to be, but as a means to promote themselves. When my manager at Wal-mart refused to promote me, I rather suspect his bonuses depended on his being able to rely with confidence on my performance. When I unexpectedly quit, that must have cut his apparent productivity; they needed me more than I needed them (I now earn twice what they paid me for the same work hours).

The uncivil and the miscreants talk the loudest about how everyone else is uncivil and miscreant. I love this video from Milton Friedman that illustrates how we project our faults on others and unjustly ascribe to ourselves the best that is in us as if the rot does not exist. As Friedman says, “It’s always the other person who’s greedy”. Thus they clothe their naked villainy with odd old ends stolen forth from holy writ and seem saints when most they play the devil (Richard III Act I scene iii). What’s more frustrating is that people believe the act! People actually believe that Democrats give a flying pinwheel about them even while anything the Democrats do helps coincidentally more often than purposedly. Much of it actually hurts.

Jesus warned me about this in John 15:19

If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

The world does not reward virtue. The world rewards those that give it special favors. The world is a self-licking ice cream cone that likes to taste itself, so when you offer it more of its own, it will favor you as a supplier, but when you feed it what it ought to (salad fixings), it will spew you out of its mouth. I thank God that, in spite of my quixotic quest I have done as well as I have. I justly ascribe that favor and prosperity to Him. His behavior is because of His grace, for I have received far better than I deserve.

For most of my adult life, I have been working toward and living the law of a world far different than the one I inhabit. I know full well that what I believe and do and feel will be little esteemed nor long noted in this world. I do not expect to be treated graciously by most people, but when they represent themselves as virtuous and then reward people for things other than virtue, I thank God that I believe in and rely on Him for His tender mercies. He is the only reliable source of truly gracious behavior. As James Madison said, "If men were angels, no government would be necessary. If men were governed by angels, no controls on government would be necessary". It's too bad we're not angels. Prove anyone who claims to be one.

State of the Church

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Jefferson's immortal phrase "wall of separation between church and state" has become a topic of much debate. I find that paradoxical in that it comes from a personal letter sent between men who were not part of the Constitutional convention. From all the writings of Thomas Jefferson, I cannot conclude that it was ever his intent to dissuade men from religion or to squelch their beliefs or morality. Rather, I think he might consider it a great breach of honour to assault the faith of another person. At the very least, it's exceptionally tacky.

If we are to consider letters as authoritative, I have a few I'd like to enter as evidence. I'm sure you also have letters from former relationships professing "undying love" that is no longer welcome, let alone gospel. Personal letters are not necessarily valuable; unless of course twitter and instagram are now the substance of great literature. No no, I feel this is more a convenient way for them to phrase a rhetorical argument that serves them no matter which way they cut the political cake.

As the world reels in the wake of anti-American protests among Muslims, the President calls for toleration of Muslims. The UN calls for a mandate to criminalize any derogatory reference to Muslims, pretending that 1000 years of crusades somehow didn't happen and didn't matter. In doing this, they propose to violate the Constitution itself that prohibits Congress from making any law establishing any special privileges for any Faith or prohibiting the free exercise of the same. What other Faith has received this kind of protection, let alone the offer thereof from the chief executive's office?

I side with the Bill of Rights on this issue. I do not believe it just to amingle religious influence with civil government, whereby one religious society is fostered and another proscribed in its spiritual privileges, and the individual rights of its members, as citizens, denied. Yet, that is exactly what we're seeing right before our very eyes as they mingle religious influence and seek to afford special privileges to Islam. However, as they prop up some religions, they beat down others. When they cannot do it by fiat, they do it in public and popular pressure, making it uncool to stand for any kind of moral code unless that code's only commandment is "Thou shalt not get found out, and if thou art found out, at least get rich selling a sensationalized memoir". It is evil to stand for the family, for abstinence, for unborn babies, for just war, and the like, but it is ok to riot in the street, practice witchcraft, and pray to the Rolling Stones. In America, you are free to believe and live as you like unless you're a Christian or a Jew.

Just after the riots began, I tweeted before I heard it anywhere else about why it's ok to mock Romney but why one must apologize to Muslims. While the Muslim miscreants rape and pillage and destroy, nobody worries about upsetting a Mormon. That's because Mormons don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. When was the last time a Mormon blew up a building in the name of their religion? It is no mark of maturity to say "give me what I want or I will be a miscreant".

As Obama protracts his war on faith and the Faith, we cling to our bibles. As he forces churches to provide things contrary to their dogma, we continue to look to God. I have said before that the most important thing we can do is to repent and bind the Lord to bless us with chains of righteousness. Until then, the state of the church, like that of the world at large, will remain precarious. God will deliver us, but He is only bound when we do what He says. How well are you doing?

Joy in the Journey

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Sometimes when I take people hiking, the hikes don't turn out as we planned. I have had to turn back because someone opted out as well as because of my own choices. However, there is no need to apologize if we don't reach the waterfall or sign the register at the peak. I don't just hike for the destination. I actually do it more to get out and get exercise. For me, the experience is about more than just the end.

Before I moved to Vegas, I worked a strange shift. It left me off on days when other people were working, and so I took dozens of road trips alone. Basically, I picked a road, filled the tank, and drove as far as I could on a tank of gas there and back, seeing whatever I could along the way. Sometimes I saw what I planned. Sometimes I saw other things. Sometimes the things I saw by the way were more interesting than the original goal. I even used to stop at all those roadside stands that claim they have the best beef jerky ever and buy some. Trust me, some of them are not all that great!

A few years back, my close hiking friend said that "the real objective of every hike is to get back to the car safely". Meanwhile, we get to see a few things. Last time we went hiking, we saw mountain wildflowers in bloom, wild horses, leaves turning colors, and an old propeller driven plane from WWII. Sure, it was nice we made it to the waypoint we picked, but we still had a nice workout and got out to a much nicer place than the typical Vegas summer offers. It was fun.

I am not an objective oriented person when it comes to recreation. I recreate to recreate. I don't really get a big rise out of winning or the championship or such stuff. After that, it's kind of a big crash as you are let down. The pent up energy of the chase climaxes and then dies. The longer the journey and the more you joy in the road along the way, the longer your enjoyment, and the memories last an extra, extra long time. Gum?

I realize I enjoy working on things more than I do checking them off a list. Maybe that's why I abandon some projects, because the ones I finish, well, now that they're over I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. I already had to write a bucket list when I turned 30 to give myself some goals, and much of that is already marked off as complete. I just wish there was someone with whom to share my life for greater synergy, a way to have joy in the journey rather than just in arriving. That's how I feel anyway.

Obama's Annual Review

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My annual review is due on 8 October every year. Usually this happens just in time, not that I’m worried, but when it comes last minute, it’s usually hurried and at a time inconvenient to me. I anticipate that it might be a tricky situation this year. I had some coworkers who were recently promoted without any cause I can see, and if I receive any less than excellent, I will be disappointed. With all humility, I am the best they have, and I look forward to the best compensation they can grant me. If they like it, then they should put a raise on it.

A close friend of mine who once managed people announced last weekend that he intends to vote for Obama. I invited him as I invite you to consider Obama as if he were an employee up for an annual review this November, because HE IS. He works for us, and we pay his salary. If he were your employee, would you rehire him or fire him?

Every indicator of prosperity is in the wrong place under this president. What would you do if one of your employees promised a project by a certain time at a certain price and then, when the due date arrived, announced that the cost would triple and the time frame increase to twice the original term? Would you give him a raise? A bigger budget? Four more years? Yet, that’s exactly what some propose.

I have long protested this notion. During graduate school, a ‘collaborator’ took data I generated and published it as his own work without any attribution. He never shared anything. He stole my intellectual property, and then he returned to his home country with his PhD secured forever. I do not like other people getting paid for my work. I resent the fact that I have more work than when I was hired in 2007, but that I earn less now than I did when I was hired while coworkers receive promotions. I want to see their annual reviews and see how their promotions are justified, particularly if I don’t receive a single senine.

However, this is about more than me. This is about something I love- my country. When the time comes for the President’s annual review, remember that he gave himself an incomplete, which means he has not met the benchmarks. Bench him, and hire someone else.

I cannot understand how anyone who knows anything about business would want to keep Obama on the team. I have been part of organizations in the past that eventually cleared themselves of the riff-raff. If it were up to me, and it is partly, I would rather work with an orange juice can than with Barack Obama in the Oval Office. He disrespects the office and doesn't seem to care about the Founding principles. He has got to go. Then we'll deal with Romney...

Myth of Equality

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Yesterday I felt a bit guilty because I had a good week and others faced trials. Yes, I had two exciting and dangerous days, but all in all things have been really well. I even went kayaking safely for the first time and was able to run a 10K this morning without any hiccups. Life is good, but societal pressures make me feel like it's not ok to celebrate good news.

As I opined this with a close friend who is sick, she told me it was ok to be happy, because she's happy I had a good week. I'm not going to go get myself sick to bring myself down. That doesn't help either of us. How can one man be caregiver if both are sick? Yet that seems to be exactly what people propose when it comes to economic duress. In their quest for the supposedly desirable notion of 'equality', they attempt to bring those who are successful down. How does that help the people who are economically sick to spread around the infection? Making everyone sick doesn't make anyone healthy any more than making everyone poor makes anyone rich

Equality is secretly code for a campaign for larger government. In order for there to be true equality, someone must define it and enforce it. Government is the only thing large enough and powerful enough to do that besides an internal conscience, and most people will admit that morality holds far too little power to accomplish this. What those who tout equaility really want is that you become dependent on government. Thomas Paine reminds us that "this therefore is the origin and rise of government, namely a mode made necessary by the inability of moral virtue to govern the world (Common Sense, pg 3)."

How else can one explain the celebration over welfare programs? We now have 47 million Americans on food stamps, as if 47 million among us would starve if not for that assistance. We now have 47% of the population who pay no income taxes. They are takers. These programs are clothed in odd old elements stolen forth from holy write to make the administrators thereof seem saints when most they play the devil. They claim to help the poor, but they keep men poor.

For example, this morning the radio reported that the RTC in Vegas reports a fare increase, which will hurt the poor. Rich people dont' ride the bus, particularly after some yahoo smashed into a bus stop while intoxicated at 100mph and killed several people including one of his own passengers. They want us out of our cars where they can control us. My car, ugly and old as it is, is freedom. The RTC monthly pass costs just over $1/day. Sure, it costs me $4/day in gas for work, but I am free to do a lot of other things. I can get up and work out, read scriptures, drive to work, run errands enroute or on the way home, go out for lunch, work a second job after work, etc. The extra money I pay is for the convenience to do what I want on my own terms. Government wants to set the terms.

This is even why they attack religion. You see, "there is God and there is government; God is greater than government, and government doesn't like that (Inga Barks)". As long as God sets the terms and dishes out the rights, there is something more powerful than they are. They seek power. It's very Luthorian of them to think they can partner with General Zod and not also be ruled by him. It's acceptable to mock Mormons but not Muslims, and that's because Mormons won't pull people's arms out of their sockets if they don't get fair treatment. You don't see Mormons tearing down flags and killing ambassadors because of a Broadway mockumentary on the Book of Mormon. That's the 'religion of peace' that responds to a film.

Most of the politicians who promise equality do not mean prosperity. There is only one way to guarantee equality- to make all men miserable. That's where they are headed. Who is better off than four years ago? Barack Obama is. He got is. To hell with you, which is exactly what they propose to build here. They ignore the fallacy of trying to make on earth, which is fallen, the utopia that heaven alone can sustain.

Superman- a Metaphor?

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With great celebration and a small hiccup, I procured the first Superman movies starring Christopher Reeve last week. As I watched them, I started to see things in the movies that made me wonder if the script writer intended the movie to be a metaphor. Even if he didn't, the original superman can be taken as an extension of American culture and faith.

Begin with the planet Krypton. It orbits a distant sun, peopled by a race of advanced humans who have managed to make peace and work without money. They have few criminals, and those few that rise are imprisoned in the Phantom Zone, doomed to wander the universe unless freed by a nuclear explosion. They are scientists. They live with crystals under their feet. They have great strength, wisdom, and power, attenuated on Krypton by the radiation of their red supergiant star.

The names are symbolic. I do not know if they translate, but Kal-el, and Jor-el sound Hebrew to me, and "el" in Hebrew is an allusion to God. They are certainly, compared to the people of earth, what we might consider gods in 1950, people who can fly, fry, run, lift anything, and cannot be killed by anything on earth. In fact, Superman's only weakness is something that is not of our world that a man manages to get. He is weak and almost dies in essence because a man is allowed to have power over him. That man also does not, just as satan is dependent on God's will, ultimately have power to destroy Superman or kill anyone on earth.

Superman's mission resembles that of the Christ. He came from a distant star, learns lessons from his father, and goes about doing good, or in his words, "Fight for Truth, Justice, and the American Way". This he does without payment or scrip, without any place to lay his head. He doesn't seem to take advantage of mortals, until he becomes one of them by surrendering his powers in that special chamber in Superman II. He fights overwhelming odds. He fights battles humans cannot win. He even brings people back from death. This he does for us, even when men revile him and persecute him and cast him out. He doeth in secret so that his father will reward him openly.

I know it's not perfect, but it made me think. When I think about the measurements given me in scripture to judge the value of a thing, Superman with Mr. Reeve exceeds most of the media's quesquilia. It led me to think about Christ, and so I conclude it might be sent forth by the spirit and power of Christ.

Reeve is no longer with us. I suspect most of the people intimately involved in the plot are gone too. I wonder if they did it on purpose or if it is a happy accident of a mind prone to inquiry beyond the action scenes. Consider what superman means to you. For me his worth has grown, like his power, to be out of this world.

QE3 Bad For You and Me

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The market is all atwitter today that Ben Bernanke issued another round of Quantitative Easing. However, that means bad things to you and me. It means two things and two things only: the FED will print money (they talk about taking money from our reserves, but we have none because we're in debt), and they will buy mortgages. Big woop. That will not create jobs. It will affect you and me in very small ways, mostly negative.

Unless you are buying "mortgage backed securities", you won't see any positive changes from this. THe FED will buy mortgages from banks and then sell that to investors, but chances are you're not much of an investor, and even if you were, you probably wouldn't buy these. They are "toxic" bonds like those that precipitated the Panic of 2009. If you're a homeowner, it will change to whom you pay your mortgage, but chances are the FED already owns your loan. They bought mine six months after I bought my house, which I found odd since I bought my house from Freddy Mac in the first place. In essence, I bought it from them, and they bought my note from my bank, so now they own the note again. Seems fishy.

Meanwhile, most regular folks will see the negative side of this. Eventually, inflation will expand beyond the gas and food sector which is bad enough, and in an economy bereft of job creation, raises, and promotions, we will pay more for the same but have less with which to do it. Pretty soon, you'll have to earn $250,000/year just to pass the poverty line!

Far too many people equate doing something with accomplishing something. Although you must do something in order to accomplish something, we all know about busy work. In fact, this morning an old friend of mine asked me if I require my students to turn in their lecture notes. Why would I want to read 30 copies of the same thing I originally said? Sounds like busy work to me, something that they do to keep us busy but not with any particular objective in mind.

Bernanke's choice and the market's reaction indicates that the financial sector is wrought with panic. The market has risen, not because we created wealth and the companies are worth more, but because the dollars in which they are valued are worth less. Another crash is coming, but some people insist, like former Senator Ensign told me once in a letter that "to do the wrong thing is better than to do nothing". QE3 is artificial, ineffective, and contrary to Romney's request. It smacks of insanity, because they are doing for the third time something that did not work twice before.

That's the attitude of the Obama administration. they never acknowledge that they are wrong; they just insist it hasn't been done enough or for enough time or whatever. More dollars are not more wealth; companies do not exist to provide jobs; QE3 will not help the 'middle class'. This is done to help rich people, investors, the people who know how to buy "mortgage backed securities" without getting hurt. I don't see how it's good for you and me. If Obama gets reelected, that might prove good for him, but I'm not convinced that Obama has done anything good for you and me either.

Do me a favor, Mr President, and don't do me any favors.

In the Hand of God

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For two reasons, this theme crosses my mind today. First of all, I was spared from a tragic and perhaps fatal crash last night on the way home. Secondly, as we rely on gods of steel and stone to protect us, I am reminded that prevention of another 9/11 attack relies more on repentance than on technology. Know ye not that ye are in the hand of God and that at His word the earth shall be rolled together as a scroll?

Last night while driving home from lecture, I was already kind of tired. I had the radio on to keep me awake and the window down for the same reason. As a semi truck approached me from the rear to pass in the fast lane, I registered a strange noise. For some reason, I have paid attention to noises made by wheels lately, probably because it was two years ago that I had a blowout and wrecked. I felt like I should look at his wheel well, and when I did, I saw that it was already full of rubber as his tread was probably separating. Right then, I felt impressed to slow down and pull over to put plenty of space between me and the truck. I did so, and as I reached the right shoulder, the truck's tire blew out and flew across the freeway in front of me, striking a road construction barrel with such force that the barrel flew over the edge of the freeway into the neighborhood below. Rubber shrapnel flew everywhere as the truck jack knifed across the lanes of traffic and the truck careened to the right, where I would have been if I'd kept up my speed. If I had been there, he would probably have crushed or flipped my Saturn.

Some of the comments were interesting. People observed that I "must have said my prayers that morning", and in the moment right following the blowout, I tried to pray as I continued on home, but all I could say was thanks. Aside from being stiff this morning from being on edge or in shock, I seem to have escaped unscathed. I don't really consider myself all that special, but it seems important to the universe that I not only survive but survive without any harm. I feel very unworthy of this blessing, not because I am wicked per se, but more because I feel rather insignificant.

As we commemorate the 11th year since the 9/11 attack, many people talk about the use of force to protect Americans. I maintain that the best protection we can procure is the intervention of the Almighty. If we desire His assistance, protection, and intervention on our behalf, now is the time to repent so that, when we need it, His Spirit CAN be with us. To illustrate this, I quote General George Washington from his farewell address to the army:

A contemplation of the complete attainment, at a period earlier than could be expected, of the objects for which we contended against so formidable a power, cannot but inspire us with astonishment and gratitude. The disadvantageous circumstances on our part under which the war was undertaken can never be forgotten. The singular interpositions of Providence in our feeble condition were such as could scarcely escape the attention of the most unobserving; while the unparalleled perseverance of the armies of the united States through almost every possible suffering and discouragement for the space of eight years was little short of a standing miracle.

I think sometimes about why the United States actually emerged victorious and free. I cannot speak to the actual state of grace of the people at the time, but I can say that more of them were talking of Christ and trying to stand in holy places.

In the immediate aftermath of 9/11, the citizenry did too. It was suddenly not only acceptable but fashionable to pray, to ascribe blessings to God, and for the President to reference His interpositions. Today, we labor under a president about whom the following can better be said that "There is God and there is government. God is greater than government and government doesn't like that (Inga Barks)." For our current crop of leaders, they desire government to be the ultimate source of everything. The ax boasteth itself against him who heweth therewith.

We are protected and safe today in spite of President Obama. He had to be persuaded to move forward with the Bin Laden mission. He has not removed our troops from combat or closed Gitmo. I am confident that today, as then, the singular interpositions of Providence keep us safe. As soon as we cast out the righteous from among us, as happened betimes in Sodom and Gamorrah, we will be ripe for destruction. We are safe and free and happy and prosperous still today at least to some degree because we are in the hand of God. He holds us up. He upholds us. If we spurn that, we have no promise.

If America desires to continue or increase in goodness, she must repent. Her people must change their hearts, change their directions, change their directions, and become better people. We must ask God to forgive us, ask our neighbors to forgive us and then seek to make it right. I looked up in my copy of the Royal Standard English Dictionary (1756), and "penitence" meant "willingness to make atonement" or willingness to make things right. Only the penitant man shall pass. Only the penitant man shall persist. Those are the ones God keeps in His hand, protected from dangers and elevated to life and salvation. Today I thank God that I was preserved by the power of His matchless hand. I do not know why. I shall endeavor to be worthy of it.

"Free" Healthcare

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A woman I know who is living in the USA on a student visa, finally managed to get pregnant this year after many years of trying. She was dismayed to discover when she went in for whatever medical preparation is involved that under Obamacare it's not only more complicated but more expensive. I'm surprised that it wasn't free, and so was she.

Everyone has probably heard the adage that "there's no such thing as a free lunch". Most have heard and parrot, particularly when I do something foolish, that "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is". However, that is precisely the logic at work here- you will get the best medical care possible at absolutely no cost ever! Quite frankly I don't understand how anyone who bought into Obama's lies can consider themselves a rational individual.

Once upon a time, we knew that the snake oil salesmen sold at best a placebo. Sometimes they worked because we wanted them too. Mostly, they were inert and sometimes they were harmful. Usually, those traveling salesmen, promising to cure our biols or form our kids into a boys band, were run out of town on a rail. Now, not only do we elect them to government office, but we give them our money in perpetuity. They don't even have to sell anything. They just have to promise that they'll eventually bring us the magic pill via the Wells Fargo Wagon.

There are no magic pills, easy solutions, or free lunches. Somewhere, somehow, someone pays, and it's probably going to be you. I find it somewhat laughable that people who criticize me for being taken in and chasing bad money with good insist on doing the same thing. The difference is that too often they're doing it with MY money, and so it doesn't cost them much, so they have nothing to lose.

Truth be told, Obama and his closest advisers, even if they believe what they do will work, purposely intend to destroy what is. Capitalism, freedom, property, and free thought are the enemy. They are perfect in their own minds, and they know best. I train hopeful healthcare professionals, but even most of them are humble enough to not try to diagnose me. I am not a medical professional, and so when they ask my advice, I tell them what questions to ask their physicians. I don't have all the answers; I just know where to look.

At some point, it becomes an issue of semantics. Free to whom? We too infrequently bother to ask them what they mean. We just assume, as they hope we will, that they mean the word the same way we do. Rather than inquiring, we just hope they mean what we hope they mean, but they rarely provide details or specifics so that they can be vague. This allows them to take credit for what works and ascribe blame elsewhere for what fails. It's diabolical.

Like the Sophists, these demagogues should be condemned in our day. They try, in their sophistry, to cure people against their will. For them, all truth is relative. They even take money. That's not what Plato described in The Republic. They are not guardians of society. They are guardians of themselves. They cannot care about people they do not know. It's largely imagined, but they covet what you have. As I have previously written, their pride drives them to be concerned, not with how much swag is in their hold, but that you have some in yours. They are not their to give; they come to take. According to the liberals, you will always have too much freedom and too much money until you have none at all of either.

Free healthcare is too good to be true. I suggest you treat it with a skeptical eye. At least ask for details. They like to cast a broad vision for the future without any plan to actualize it. That's an emotional technique, and when you get emotional you almost always pay the price. Mark my words, the promises of the liberal demagogue will cost you more than you could ever gain. The difference is in what we value.

Refining the Soul

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Sundays are often difficult for me. My beliefs and faith matter a great deal to me, and sometimes I feel like the people with whom I worship and about whom I care the most don't seem interested in faith or the Faith. Sometimes, I go to bed more tired after the Day of Rest than I was when I awoke, but then again, it doesn't mean that kind of rest. In fact, the Day of Rest was originally one day a week God gave man in order to encourage man to spend it getting closer to God, and at least Sundays accomplish that for me.

I do not know if I would think about the Savior as much if not for the congregation I attend. They seem so much more interested in going through the motions than anything else and strike me as the people CS Lewis mentions who "do not desire true nakedness in prayer". When I relate the scriptures to us and point out how we are repeating their mistakes, the parishoners rationalize that, although we might make the same mistakes, "at least we're not making them as often". Excuse me! Being less bad doesn't make you good, and it certainly doesn't make you any better to admit you are bad and justify it because you're not sinning as badly or in the same way. Perhaps this is the process and place God has chosen in which to refine my soul.

Years ago, I worked briefly in a refinery not far from where I live now. This company smelters titanium from rocks into ingots which it then sells to companies that mostly make airplane parts from it. We've all heard of the refiner's fire, and this company uses a very hot fire, but more than that, it also uses acid during the refining process to burn out other impurities that do not come out in fire. Making a titanium ingot is expensive and difficult, and I have seen the rejects- they're very "colorful", much like unrefined people, laced with metals of other elemental makeup that would weaken the titanium.

As I considered the refining process, I realized how much I know about this from other pursuits. In graduate school, we cared for a vineyard on which we depended for our data. Every year, we would prune the plants, dig up and around their roots, hack them back to nothing, and dung them. Honestly, this looks barbaric. We really tortured these grape vines, and yet, reliably they grew back every year, stronger, with better fruit in greater quantity. Some of them died, but the ones that survived the refining process grew stronger and better, and I know that's how it works.

God allows trials to come upon us because they refine our soul. If we respond correctly, penitently, and submit to the will of the Master by turning to Him as our Lord and Savior, we can grow back stronger and more fruitful. He's less concerned with our wardrobe or our vocabulary or our vocation because He cares more about what we are than what we do. He is looking to make us useful, like the titanium ingots or the grapevines, and so the impurities must be removed, the stalks made stronger. To make steel strong, the metal must be beaten and heated repeatedly.

Following Christ becomes then a great paradox. Rather than finding a life of ignoble ease and rainbows and butterflies, the path of discipleship is wrought with perils and pitfalls. The road is rough, not because God doesn't want us to make it up the path, but because the path makes us into what He intends us to become. The difficulty of the path reminds us that we are dependent on God for all that we have and are, and that all of us need a Savior to carry us ultimately to paths that we do not know and of which we are not ourselves capable, no matter our talents or tenacity. The path is not there to perfect us; the commandments remind us of our need for a Savior, and when we turn to Him, He makes weak things strong in us because He is in us. It's tough to follow Christ because the path to become like Christ exists to make us tough.

Ultimately, some of the worst experiences of my life have been the best things that happened to me. Fortunately for me and with gratitude to God, they turned me to Christ. I know that in order to progress, the difficulty level must increase. I may continue to be burned, beaten, acid washed, pruned, dunged, and dug about. All of this is so that I can grow back hardier, faster, and more fruitful. A refined soul is one that has been made pure. Apparently, I need my current circumstance to get me to turn towards and think about Christ. I see I have a long way yet to go.

Democrats and Emotion

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As I hear about the DNC convention this week, I wonder about Democrats and their priorities. Much of what comes out of their mouths contradicts other statements. Many of those who listen to and fawn over what they say extend courtesies to Democrats that they would never extend to Republicans. In fact, when called out for doing this today, those of my Facebook friends who did so seemed upset to be called for hypocrisy.

The more I watch the Democrat party, the more it appears led by emotion than reason. In order to incite and drum up support, they engage in conduct that gets an emotional outburst. Republicans hate women, old people and the sick. Republicans only like you if you're rich. Never mind that the Democrat keynote speaker was an impeached pervert who takes every liberty with women and that the President cut money from Medicare. Never mind that the Obamas and Pelosis and Reids are themselves rich. Apparently, to hear them talk, they hate themselves, but they love money more than they hate being rich.

From where I sit, they need to sort out their priorities. I learned Obama didn’t have money for shoes or a car that wasn’t rusted out but always had money for drugs. Apparently Obama didn’t have money for school or time for friends, but there was always plenty of both for drugs. I learned that Michelle thinks it's more important kind of success to make a difference than to be rich. Well, Ted Bundy and Ghenghis Khan made a difference. Does that make them successful? Democrats cast out these vague statements that can be used in whatever way serves your purposes.

Then their supporters rationalize what they do. When Michelle makes a statement about success, it immediately gets dressed up in fancy fonts on image sharing servers and blasted out to the social networking world. Nevermind that Emerson wrote a better and more inclusive poem. Nevermind if Ghenghis Khan or Ted Bundy or Mitt Romney also said it. They are caught up in the identity of the speaker rather than the truth of the message. If Romney had said it (he might have; I didn't listen to him either), I doubt very much it would get the social networkinge exposure that Michelle's statements will. If it's truth, the speaker should matter very little.

Democrats do what suits their ends. The ends always justify the means, and so they insist on having it their way. Voting on the amendment to restore a vague reference to God in the party platform, the mayor of LA voted thrice until he got the answer he wanted. Even then, it sounded to me like the delegates rejected the addition of God and Jerusalem to their platform. There's elsewhere a statement about how much the Democrats appreciate and value people of faith. They do not value people of faith. They put up with us if we cast our votes ‘correctly’. They allow us to talk as long as we pass on what they like and say. Otherwise, they view us as a threat and condescendingly refer to how we cling to our bibles.

No matter how much they talk about reason, the democrats act on emotion. While they fear what "might" happen if Romney is elected, they turn a blind eye to the misery and setbacks that are the Obama administration. While they balk when others compare them to the Nazis, it's ok for them to cast that aspersion on others. What they are doing is violating a basic tenant of civil society- Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness Against Thy Neighbor. As long as they flagrantly and reliably violate what establishes and preserves civil society, they cannot possibly facilitate or uphold one. That's not logical.

I care less about who is right than what is right. I care less about who has prosperity than I do about how many people prosper. I care less about getting credit than I do about reaching goals and fulfilling my promises. The Democrats claim the same thing, but apparently, they need "four more years" despite being in absolute control from 2008 to 2010. What was stopping them? If they're right, how come their ideas haven't worked? They sell us a panacea, and then people swoon at the feet of the god of emotion and cast aside all reason for hope. And they say we're the fools for believing in a better world. At least my treasure isn't here where moth and rust corrupts. Sometimes faith is the more reasonable position.

Unjustly Ascribed to Obama

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Since the DNC convention began, I have taken serious stock of my own status and asked if I'm better off now than in 2008. The answer is yes, but if I gave Obama the credit, it would be unjustly ascribed. I am better off despite Obama rather than because of him.

In 2008, I was near rock bottom. I had quit a job cold turkey and moved to Vegas without a job in 2007 and was recently divorced when Obama was elected. That cost me ultimately almost $150,000 which amounts to more than all the money I took home during the time I was married. I sold my house for far above market value, but most of that money was eaten up by debts incurred by my ex wife, and I moved out with very little to my name, about the same as I had when I married her in the first place. I drove the car I still drive today. I moved in initially with my parents.

From there, things started to look up. By the time of the election, I had finally been promoted at work and had my first pay raise, but soon after Obama was sworn in, I took my first pay cut. Officially it was 5%, but with the increased fees for health care and PERS retirement (in lieu of Social Security), the real cut was 12%, meaning I now take home less than I did when I was hired despite being promoted. I have received zero raises during the Obama Administration but I have more work required of me. In my organization, the women earn more than the men. Meanwhile coworkers who are less qualified and who provide less of a contribution to the organization have been promoted and received raises. My job would have been cut if not for the fact that a coworker died, and so her position was cut in lieu of mine.

In 2010, I bought a house. Last month, it looks like it finally bottomed out in value, such that I owe less on it now than it's worth, but I put down 20% on it, which means I'm still down $20,000 or so from my initial investment. My property taxes are also down, but the HOA likes to harass me regularly despite the fact that my yard is the nicest one on the block. I will earn more money this year than any other year. This is also not because of Obama. It's because I work two jobs. I will spend 58 hours every week at work this semester, in addition to the work I do at home or during the commute or elsewhere. The extra money isn't because Obama did me a favor. It's because someone else vacated a job in Nevada for a better opportunity elsewhere.

I live without the burden of debt. This is because I live below my means. I still drive that 1995 Saturn I mention regularly. I do not have designer clothes or furniture or decor. I simply spend less than I earn. Despite that, my costs have risen. Gas prices are twice what they were when Obama took office. Food prices are up. Wages are down. My house is worth less money. Despite the stock market being up under Obama, my stocks are even, meaning they are worth exactly what I put in. Given how much money he printed, I expect a better return on the market than we have seen. Increased costs delay my purchase of things like a newer car, newer furniture, a newer kitchen, vacations, appliances, and landscaping in the back yard. I still do a lot of it myself to save money, which means I'm technically withholding money from the economy. With the Supreme Court sue me for not paying someone to do something for me that I can do more cheaply for myself? As long as I can get 38mpg in my car with no monthly payment, why would I pay for a hybrid, let alone a Chevy Volt?

I hold onto my money lest someone take it. During my time of prosperity, things have happened to me. I have been accused of things I didn't do and withstood those investigations. Twice my car has been damaged seriously. Two years ago, my ex wife took me back to court for more money. Women have chosen other men because of their wages or their smaller waist at a time when I spend 5-10 hours per week at the gym running, cycling, playing racquetball, lifting weights, etc. There's nothing sexy about being a Chemistry professor, so the extra pay hasn't transformed that part of my life.

I am better off, but none of these things are because of anything Obama has done. If I have benefitted from him, it was by accident. That's how OBama's great ideas and promises work. He is there to buoy up the government, and if you are enriched accidentally by crumbs from the table, they will take credit for it. Of course, nothing is their fault. They are perfect. Ironically enough, the people who are convinced they are right are usually wrong.

Obama's plan sucks. His record stinks. He has to talk about "memories of the future" like his wife said last night because the past doesn't corroborate the utopic picture he paints before our mind's eye. Obama's doing very well. He's a millionaire. He's better off. Are you? I can say I am. I cannot say it's because of Obama. In fact, I have eeked this out because of myself, despite the best efforts of the Lord of the Manor to glut himself with the fruit of my labor. Even if Romney wants to go back to 1950, it is clear that Obama wants to go back to 1050- Lords and Vassals. He will always go back to the mistaken notion that he can make people better. He will meddle. When they meddle, things change, but it's not always for the better.

Apparently it's backwards and evil to support Freedom and Opportunity and Private Property. If that's true, then I'm pleased to be Freedom's First Friend. Obama had nothing to do with the Declaration and the Constitution and the Revolution, and thank God for that. He makes Benedict Arnold look like a petty thief. If he's responsible for the good, he's responsible for the struggles too. You can't pick and choose. I'm from Vegas. We know buffets.

Incomplete Work

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Incomplete grades mean that a significant amount of the expected work required by the course has not been accomplished, at all. It means you missed a test or a presentation or a significant assignment, without which you are likely to fail, and you have persuaded the professor to be merciful. We are under no obligation to do so, and very rarely do we.

President Obama likes to give himself grades. After his first year in office, he graded himself with a B+. Now, he’s lowered the bar and given himself a grade of incomplete. I know what that means. It means he vastly overrated his capabilities and bit off more than he could chew. Although he may think he’s giving an ‘A’ effort, his work doesn’t support that claim. Although he may claim that success in this course matters, where he spends his time and efforts tell a different story.

Mostly, Obama deals in trivial matters. He works on his golf game, playing 104 games during his presidency so far. He plays card games and basketball and bowls a 94. He fills out NCAA brackets. His landmark legislation is Obamacare (which the people opposed by a margin of 52%) and the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Obama goes to interviews with nonsensical journalism outlets and brags about how well he doodles and makes chili. Who cares? Throw the coins, boy, the people are hungry! He celebrates things that are largely inconsequential, and that’s where he spends his time.

I'm only allowed to give grades of incomplete for exigent circumstances such as extreme medical problems or military deployments. Also, you usually only have a year from the time you score an "incomplete" to fix it, or it automatically becomes an "F" on your transcript. Ergo, an "incomplete" is not something of which to be proud. Furthermore, since when do people give themselves grades? None of my students give themselves a grade, just as I am not allowed to rate myself. This is poppycock.

Contrary to his notion, Obama doesn’t care much about being a good president, let alone a mediocre one. In fact, his efforts show that he intended to create exactly what we have. If he really cared, he’d be out asking the people, who will issue him a grade on 6 November, how to fix his grade. Instead, he flips us the bird at every opportunity and legislates by executive order instead, a gross violation of the Constitution he swore to uphold. Furthermore, he offers unsolicited advice and tells a lot of paradoxical things (like it’s your body if you want an abortion but not when it comes to dinner time). Apparently, he already thinks he knows everything.

This weekend, I rewatched the first Harry Potter movie. I feel like I’m watching Harry Potter come to Hogwarts as if possessed of abilities so formidable that he doesn’t need anyone else and that his failures don’t matter. Fame isn’t everything, and neither is Obama’s personality, because people are getting fed up with him. The evidence supports that, because they are out there in the media attacking his opponents and buoying up every jejune minutia that might possibly make Obama seem cool and caring when quite frankly I feel like he views me as the Roman deities viewed their people- largely an annoyance, however necessary we might be to a continuation of his power.

The only way in which I can conceive that Obama considers his work incomplete is that he hasn’t completely destroyed or reformed America into something abjectly foreign. Some tiny vestiges of what made America great remain, more than he expected, and so as we cling to our Guns and our Bibles rather than worshipping him, he can’t stand that. He wants us dependent on him. I have said before that Liberals will always think you have too much money and too much liberty until you have none at all of either. They do not care how much swag they have amidships as long as anyone else has any in their hold.

Obama is a failure in everything except the final assignment of his grade. He can’t even play basketball well, bowl consistently, or golf competitively. Maybe he can doodle, but we don’t need a doodler- we need a president, a leader, a solution. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate, and Obama is proud that he’s a loser. He always has been, even in his first autobiography when he was unabashedly proud that he did so much drugs that he can’t remember much of High School. This just supports the notion that Obama keeps his college transcripts secret because his grades don’t justify his claims to accomplishment. In fact, they probably show he got piss-poor grades and was just as much of a failure then as he is now.

In November, make Obama’s “I” revert to an “F”. Put him back where he belongs- in the hall of mediocrity, which is all his records justify. Incomplete work everywhere else in the real world gets you a demerit and a pay cut. Imagine if we had only won a war halfway- oh wait, we did and it's called every war since Vietnam. He's had his chance. A vote for anyone other than Romney is a vote for Obama, and it's time someone else had the opportunity to pull the sword from the stone.

**as for the author, the author had a 4.0 through every level of schooling until graduate school, where he finished with a 3.93 GPA, having received a B in Biochemistry 705- Molecular Genetics**

Fact Check Fact Checkers

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A close friend of mine finally registered to vote last week, catalized in part by the fact that I know and talk quite a lot about political issues. As she did so and started studying issues and candidates, she asked me what advice I gave her. My answer surprised me, but I'll share it with you because it's how I keep my sanity during insane times.

"Pay no attention to advertisements or news reports during the last 30 days before the election. Quite frequently, they will cast untrue aspersions designed to rile up emotions with timing that prevents their opponent from reacting and assuaging concerns. If it was true and really important, we'd know sooner. The so-called 'October surprise' is more approriately often the 'October Lies'."

We're getting very close to that point. It's only September, but it will be October soon enough, and then we'll hear all sorts of things that are half truths and whole lies. We'll hear all sorts of things about Candidate X or Senator Y that are not true or that are only true without the rest of the story to back it up. This is done in a calculated manner, and it's the reason I told my students last week to do their own homework. That's always good advice. You won't have anyone or anything in the voting booth with you, and if you haven't educated yourself, you're really casting a second vote for the opinions of someone else.

Far too much of what I read on the internet is nothing more than editorials masquerading as facts. Even if the counterarguments offered are true, they frequently do not actually refute the original claims. More often than not, the 'fact checkers' are partisan. I even read a story yesterday about fact checking the fact checkers, because again as I tell my students everyone has an agenda. Some of them have ulterior motives. When I read things, I have come to adopt the attitude that they might be right. Far too often, the people who say those things are not willing to return the favor.

Bishop Stendahl, part of Harvard's Divinity School until of late, explained his three rules for all discourse. First, you do not ask a detractor for objective information about his opponents. You see, we typically get inaccurate and emotional charicatures from people who do not know or do not like what they are asked to describe. To the good Bishop, asking one group to describe another invites them to violate the commandment that states, "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor". Frequently they are far too eager to do precisely that. Secondly, you do not compare your strengths to their weaknesses. That sets up an adversarial relationship that introduces inequities from the outset of discourse. It's a gross violation to skew the direction to the most favorable light for yourself without returned the favor. Finally, he asks us to leave room for what he calls "holy envy". If there's something virtuous or of good report or praiseworthy, adopt it and emulate it.

Then again, the problem may lie in the fact that too many government officials are lawyers. You see, law is the art of rhetoric, where the best argument prevails rather than the true one. Some Greek philosophers considered rhetoric to be an evil advancement of discourse and warned people to reject it. After all, lawyers are the best liars; for a sum of money, they will say whatever you ask.

It has been said that while you are entitled to your own opinions, you are not entitled to your own facts. Even if what you bring is factual, it does not excuse you ignoring other facts that don't corroborate what you already happen to believe. Most people I hear investigate only what validates them while ignoring everything else. This they call being 'open minded' or they will read the opposing viewpoint looking for things to prove it's not true. You see, the more I teach, the more I realize that people are not really looking for truth; they secretly hope the truth will corroborate what they already happen to believe. They bend facts to fit theories and ignore other facts as "right wing conspiracy theories" or other emotionally-charged phraseology.

Fact check the fact checkers. I frequently ask people to, as I often do, cite their source. Then at least you know if they're valid or biased or well rounded in their argumentation. If you do not, you are not speaking your mind; you are speaking theirs. Sayest thou this of thyself or did others tell it thee? That doesn't make you a person; it makes you a puppet.

I will close with this fascinating verse from Job:

Who is this that darkeneth counsels by words without knowledge? Arise, gird up thy loins like a man and answer thou me. --Job 38:2-3

Far too many people speak "words without knowledge". They do not have any firsthand knowledge. Come look at my bookshelf and flip through the books. You can tell I have read them because I annotate them. My handwriting is distinctly awful, but it's mine. I do not let other people tell me that Jefferson or Lincoln or Eastwood said such-and-such; I actually buy books to find out what they said and in what context it was said, and then, even when I wish it were a real quote, I call out those who pass on these inaccuracies. I am looking for truth. I can handle the truth.